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Comments of chapter undefined of Unwanted Gift

1Little_Tree
1Little_TreeAuthor1Little_Tree

See this! I just gifted the story: Balloon

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BlueCold
BlueColdLv1BlueCold

pretty good, some minor edits might fix the grammar problems

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Doris_Cole
Doris_ColeLv1Doris_Cole

So far do good. I like the book.

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Nr_Yet1208
Nr_Yet1208Lv12Nr_Yet1208

good plot. you should focus more on tense and grammar. the writing was slow and half of it was info dumps. I'd suggest giving certain info gradually.

BlueCold
BlueColdLv1BlueCold

pretty good, skme minor edits might fix the grammar problems