Having us known that this is a virtual game from the prologue then shifted it to the fl pov which is an NPC, pretty intriguing startđ§. Though, it's sad how she lost her parents. đ
I thoroughly enjoyed the scenes. A wonderful start. World picture is great. I could feel the hubbub of the market, the commotion in selling of goods, the game instructions on panels, families residing and as well as execution in a game. A great concept. Looking forward to read more.
I think I should come out clean. for a first chapter, this was big. and personally big first chapters aren't that favored.
next, I think you have some tense issues. overall it was good but at times I was pulled out of the story
Hi, I had fun reading the first chapter. The only thing I can say is that I wish you could establish a scenery, itâs in a virtual world after all. Anyway good start! :>