Comments of chapter undefined of Game Of Thrones: House Dustin

I know this is a game of thrones fanfic, but the author is forcing things that wouldn't be possible with the protagonist's future knowledge, supernatural powers and level of paranoia.

ugh, one stupid chapter after another. Don't force drama in the story, you made the mc know what would happen and have large amount of resources and man power but forget to put a spy on one of his less trust worthy companion who is also giving sign of betrayal in the previous chapter.

This chapter is ridiculous! And a complete let down.

the protagonist is incongruous, in some situations he represents wisdom and his well-planned plans and in others he doesn't have even the slightest bit of common sense

But I get is kinda hard to create drama when you have a strong mc with knowledge. I just think it would have make much more sense if Barbrey ended up dying rather than being kidnapped. Not only that, but for real, I really surprised about the lack of military organization showed so far. No amount of order would dismiss the lack of discipline and planning on his navy. How can you not patrol around constantly (even outside of the zone that was supposed to be cleared for "a while") when there's a war at your doorstep, and you are aware of it? That's not all, how can there not be a spy or shadow tracking the second most important person in the family? After taking into account a failed assassination attempt made before with (just like this time) ,supposedly and allegedly, prepared and elite guards? These are the most big mistakes during the last two chapters. And no, no amount of excuses would cope with it. It's clear that you wanted to take this path with your novel. And I respect that but please, maintain the quality you have showned so far during the novel. It's such a shame that you have to force things to this point. If you ever need help with the plot or to gather ideas, you can always ask to us readers for ideas. You don't need to follow them but to have them as a foreknowledge to take into account and get help from.

man....it feels really to forced with how Brendan and his mother were portrayed before....1st she would have never let him go to winterfell alone + tgey should have predicted the ironborns attack

This was such a good novel until last chapter and this, so much stutt that just doesn't fit with how Lady Dustin and Mc were before

Author, you made the MC’s mom as smart as Olenna Tyrell. Why would you make it so easy for her to be taken alive? Even Olenna knew to commit suicide before Cersei could get her and Barbery should know how horrible Ironborns would be if taken prisoner by one.

this chapter ruins the complete novel... this is just badly written, as paranoid as the mc is with the death of the kid and near death of the mother... and this happens?? just how? if this were a paid story this would be the chapter where you drop the story or demand a rewrite.

Usually when an author used drama as resource for plot, they do it carefully and in accordance to what was showed so far. And that I think is where you failed here. And it really was made up badly this time. Like for real, I'm just in this mood rn

if you follow this path, I bet the mc's next enemy would be Varys, because the protagonist somehow ignored his existence or his level of danger, and suffered some personal injury or damage to his land.

You know author, I really like your story but now it was a bit forced that part with irons. MC already knew how it works and still made plans with them, of course this could be a game just to catch them later but at what price? Our mom is being very stubborn, how many assassination attempts has she taken? Come on, she goes out with half a dozen soldiers and trusts a dozen more peasants for her safety? honestly this is laughable

so you mean that even with the mc's future knowledge about the possible attacks of the iron islands in his lands, the MC didn't put any spy in the enemy's land to observe the enemy? or put sea animals to accompany your mother and possibly rescue her from enemy hands?

You know, sometimes the MC is really as dumb as a sack of bricks. This entire mess is one of his own creation. Wipe out the entire population of the iron islands and if someone complains tell them to shove it.

If your protagonist is more of a General than a Ruler, then he has to think accordingly. If the protagonist saw that a canonical event will cause more harm and risk than profit, he should use everything he has to modify the event, control the event in the shadows, or even actively prevent it from occurring. This is called common sense

He took one of the smartest people and made her into an idiot In obly 2 chapters

Kinda of a let down the last few chapters. With Ned being a pu**y and Brendam letting Cat walk all over him. So she didnt learn anything from Bree’murder. You always talking about his spy network being the best one or the armies of house dustin the greatest. Its took a single ironborn to burn everything. I understand one mistake(Bree) but now this? They didnt see this great conspiracy coming? Now with all the power and future knowledge this happen. You could have them attack maybe Bear Island or something. I dont know. I understand something like this happing in Essos because with dont have that much info of that continent, so you can play more with the plot over there. But in Westeros, we know absolutely everything. You’re forcing it. I use to look forward to updates but i wouldnt might skipping the next few ones. Anyways Good luck man

Can't agree more to the comments about this whole plot line being forced. Looks like Eric Cartman's "garden of betrayal" - a parody to GoT. Harlan the Reader is not a maniac. Actually not everyone in GoT are. Lady Dustin doesn't have any strong feudal claims to any land - Dustin's lands are her husband's and they got a male heir. Without him they will belong to Dustin's closest relatives men approved by Winterfell after her death, not to any man, who was able to court her. Her father's lands have a lot of sucsessors, so what land Harlan is talking about? Yes, you can claim lands by force in the middle ages, but it is Westeros, not some no man's land, he won't be able to secure a place in the mainland. The only thing he can get by kidnapping is gold, but is he stupid enough to ask for it from the house "who gave him" his newfound power? In that arc he should be called "Harlan the Crazy Suicidal Maniac".

Man it just feels that you are adding extra misery needlessly ..... I mean the whole plot with trusting the ironborn was dumb and needlessly forced ....

I don't get it Mc has an army of animals and he's shown that he can talk to snake s he couldn't give one to his mother