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Comments of chapter undefined of The story of squad 13

The story of squad 13

Chaoscaller

Chapter comments11

VishalGupta
VishalGuptaLv2VishalGupta

It is good except, I wonder if you could have added a bit of humor.

3yr
Chaoscaller
ChaoscallerAuthorChaoscaller

Oh, I am working on that. No worries.

VishalGupta:I agree with that assessment. I never said that the humor needs to come from him. It could come from others like the person who died or the lady. or just a random commentator.
3yr
1
vinthakadha
vinthakadhaLv1vinthakadha

looks amazing. keep going.

3yr
1
Ibrex2000
Ibrex2000Lv2Ibrex2000

Death by trash can funnest thing I've seen today 🤣😂

3yr
Primate
PrimateLv4Primate

Great opening

3yr
Mila_Alaia
Mila_AlaiaLv4Mila_Alaia

Well, well, well!! Honestly, I loved the great collection of words! The story is set in too serious an atmosphere for my taste, but I love the vocabulary. Descriptions are cool. ( I could visualize those first scenes clearly. Towards the middle, it did get a bit confusing. ) But I think you could tone it down a little, i.e. avoid repetition. For example, about his eyes. The book has great potential. Keep it up! P.S. Ever thought of breaking down the chapters? I've heard many say that they find shorter chapters more easier to read. Personally, I love long chapters, tho.

3yr
Jo_J
Jo_JLv13Jo_J

Great first chapter! Nicely polished text... a reall pleasure to read. I am waiting for more ;)

3yr
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