Comments of chapter undefined of Secret Santa System
Secret Santa System
SivaTheGreat
Chapter comments6
Part 2 However, like I said, getting blueprints are not going to be feasible for every case or perhaps even that often depending on the world/organizations you build. However, even if Drake can't get official blueprints, acquiring information is going to be an extremely important step in the future. He simply wanders around for half an hour in this chapter but in future chapters the security of buildings could be a lot stricter or people are a lot more suspicious. As such, the information gathering phase is going to need a lot more attention in the future. You probably have this in mind. In fact, this could be one of many areas where you plan to show Drake improving over time. However, if you plan to give the information gathering stage minimal attention in the future, I truly advise against it. This stage of the process allows you to present a mini scheme/con which can make that particular gift giving "heist" seem more intricate and thus grander/more engaging. It requires a variety of different skills like sneaking, researching, acting, socializing, and fooling people to name a few. By showing how much skill and the different techniques required for this single step, the audience begins to appreciate how challenging it is for Drake to accomplish even a single "gift giving" mission. They feel more satisfied when the mission is completed since there was a greater build up and they feel more proud of Drake as he improves a wide variety of skills slowly over time. In addition, information gathering inherently requires the close observation/interactions of people, locations, and organizations. As such, it offers ample opportunities to explore the world, character relationships, and common sense of characters. Take your time and be detailed as it offers many writing opportunities. Remember, any "heist" can be broken down into certain tasks no matter the scale or situation. 1. Gathering information (even if it is simply choosing a target) 2. Infiltrating (whether this breaking in the middle of the night or being invited through the front door) 3. Acquiring target/accomplishing goal (in this case getting to right location and giving gift) 4. Escaping (whether unnoticed or after disabling pursuers) 5. Remain safe/free once people try to track you down/investigate details of heist. In every arc, try to walk through every step of the process and how they are all connected in forming each grand plan. If one part fails, it unlikely that a person would succeed. Walking through each step can show the difficulty of a task and slowly draw the reader as they wonder how Drake will address each task this arc. In conclusion, I really liked that you have Drake walking ignorantly this time around. It helps display how lucky he was last time, his slight inexperience gathering information, and creates a baseline where he can grow in the future. However, I do hope you go into more detail about information gathering scenes in the future as it was completely glanced over in the first arc and skipped in the second arc. The nature of this type of task could allow for great worldbuilding, introduce characters, and help display the complexity/level of different skills in order to do the type of work displayed in this novel. I look forward to future chapters and arcs. Your loyal fan, JohnPlume P.S. A small show recommendation that could perhaps give you some ideas. I extremely recommend is White Collar which ended in 2014 but is available free on Amazon Prime. It is about an FBI agent partnering up with a conman/forger/art thief. They use cons/heists to catch criminals. In a way, it is very similar to your story. It features cons and heist techniques but it is not to steal money but to accomplish altruistic goals. It showcases a bunch of heists/cons which form a longer running story lasting multiple arcs. Watch just a couple episodes, you could be really inspired. Of course also feel free to research other stories and real life methods.
@JohnPlume Thanks a lot for your continued support. I'll definitely keep your suggestions in mind while writing the next chapters. Also from now on I am hoping that we all can discuss about the novel's(story and character) progress in more detail through discord platform. I hope you will continue to enjoy the story and see you on discord... Discord: https://discord.gg/e6S7NcS6
Part 1 I did not say this last chapter, but I am happy you are back uploading new chapters. I really do think this story has a lot of potential and I look forward to reading upcoming chapters. Moving onto suggestions I have, I am glad you acknowledged in this chapter that Drake really lucked out when breaking into the local lord's mansion. The fact that he was able to find a fired employee in the area who happens to know a convenient secret passage is very improbable (in fact if you ever go back to edit that chapter, you might want to put in a little more detail regarding this incident showing the scene where he finds that employee and think how lucky he is). So the fact that he is not able to do the same thing this time and is forced to wander around aimlessly is actually a bit more realistic. That being said, in the future I do hope in future arcs you can include information gathering/casing locations as part of the story. After all, this is an extremely important step when breaking into locations that has its own challenges and schemes that can be displayed. Using tools to see the inside of the building, making an excuse to stand inside the entryway to glance around, conning people with access to reveal details about layout/security/personnel, or even gaining access to blueprints of buildings. Even in ancient societies there were building codes where people submitted blueprints and building inspectors came (China's was actually highly developed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancient_Chinese_urban_planning). Now in a cultivation world where there are organizations with great military might that have existed for centuries, these organizations are practically nations themselves and might be reluctant to submit blueprints/permits. Plus, for more established sects, some blueprints might be so old they could be hard to find/start to degrade. However, while it might not work in every scenario (or maybe not even most scenarios), the challenge of trying to find blueprints could be possible in certain cases. Especially if it is a place that has been renovated relatively recently. After all, builders could have kept personal blueprints they made and even perhaps treat ancient blueprints as family heirlooms. Sidenote, what is the construction industry like in a cultivation world? How do construction companies get jobs from sects and how often do they work with sects since these are organizations lasting for centuries. Do they ever worry about being killed off to keep sect secrets or are these companies actually cultivation sects of their own in order to have the strength to defend themselves and have the knowledge to create cultivator friendly environments with formations, qi infused materials, and rooms that can speed up cultivation. Do the sects provide the builders with formations they designed trusting that the mortal builders would not understand it/keep designs, do they build those formations themselves in order to not let their secrets leak out, do they perhaps divide the work among multiple companies so no one has the full picture and thus not easy to figure out the details of the sect's security, or do the sects have their own personal construction business which sect members supervise while also making money as well. All of this is precious worldbuilding information that could be indirectly explored by having Drake try to acquire blueprints in the future. Trying to acquire blueprints in future arcs could also help illustrate the relationship between sects and the government. Can the sects do anything they want without answering to anyone, is the government strong enough that they can demand sects comply with even small regulations, are some sects so loyal to government/the law that they comply with mortal regulations of their free will, or do they have fairly equal power where they might do things for show like sects giving blueprints but those blueprints are extremely vague. All this could help with worldbuilding.
