miu_hozuki
Author liked the comment.
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You did a really good job, but you keep mixing past and present tense in this chapter. If you're writing a story from the past, you need to keep it in the past tense, rather than mixing both past and present tense.
What a tense start, really interesting
Wow... real nice I have to continue, cant stop
A glorious prologue, setting up what should be an exciting tale.
info overload
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really nice but tense beginning
See this! I just gifted the story: Inspiration capsule
See this! I just gifted the story: Ice cola
See this! I just gifted the story: Pizza
