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Comments of chapter undefined of Harry Potter and the Rise of the Protector

Lottus
LottusLv4Lottus

✌️✌️

An_Anime_Addict
An_Anime_AddictLv13An_Anime_Addict

Doing work and doing *work* at the same time.......man mc is really a legend~

Ciaran
CiaranLv14Ciaran

Thanks for the chapter. Honestly I don't think the book needs lewd scenes in it. It's already a great fanfiction that doesn't need lewd scenes to make it popular 😁

Pro_Gamer_161
Pro_Gamer_161Lv4Pro_Gamer_161

Thank You For The Chapter Mr Author 😜 A Fantastic Chapter As Always 😉

zhaderx
zhaderxLv4zhaderx

Well this certainly “intensified” and made the usual report more, “fun” Ho ho ho Like it!

Invisiblevoice
InvisiblevoiceLv6Invisiblevoice

These kind of scenes are well written, but i don't think they are needed? I mean, i'd rather have more plot in the chapter than sexy times. I enjoyed knowing what was happening in the bussiness and although the ***** part shows how much Tory and Aedan like each other, it feels like pure lust instead of love since it doesn't make the story grow, just adds more words to the chapters. It'd be better if the sexy parts are just shown when they have meaning or a reason to be shown inside the plot, when it has to do with the story; otherwise it feels like filler no matter how well written it is.

Zetcoy
ZetcoyLv5Zetcoy

Harem_fan
Harem_fanLv5Harem_fan

Your bit of lemon at 134 chapters felt really out of place. It was like I was reading another HP fan fiction centered around smut.....

KaranameKira
KaranameKiraLv11KaranameKira

so finally we have blowjob and cunnilingus and both in one chapter lol but bj was way more detailed than cunnilingus so any r-18 series soon, author?

hooves
hoovesLv15hooves

look I must applaud the author for this story but as we go further I find chapters more and more boring, I can take the relationships but the constant business talk just really bores me. chapters go by of just explaining that could be 3 paragraphs instead. I can't tell why it's expanded. it's like the author wants to flex their creative ability on inventions in this world which is impressive but I dunno it just really bogs down the story for me.

Baneofthedragon
BaneofthedragonLv5Baneofthedragon

Hope theres an update soon.

Sheenius
SheeniusLv11Sheenius

Note on top of chapters for people who don't want to read erotic would be nice 🙆‍♀️

Kamesha_Animelife
Kamesha_AnimelifeLv12Kamesha_Animelife

10/10 will read again and again

Akatsuki_3559
Akatsuki_3559Lv4Akatsuki_3559

Kinda disappointed he’s limiting himself like this, no spatial magic which is a plenty in america, no alchemy which is something he would surely be amazing at, and various other subjects not taught at hogwarts, AND lets not forget his insane talent in illusion magic especially after him going on about how fluer wasting her potential by not using her innate talents ffs

Irishdamned
IrishdamnedLv14Irishdamned

I thank you for the chapter.

deehoinatividad
deehoinatividadLv13deehoinatividad

IdiotRick
IdiotRickLv14IdiotRick

...

HeadDragon
HeadDragonLv6HeadDragon

anden 9 y 3/4 erecto es hora de q el tren express salga disparado por el tunel calido hasta hosmeade

Justin_Steiner
Justin_SteinerLv13Justin_Steiner

This isn't really a criticism to you, just personal problems I have with this. But the romance has really made this hard to get through. One part because I think doing OC x OC just doesn't do it for me in fanfiction, but mostly because I can't even imagine Victoria. Her personality isn't defined or described enough for me to truly care about her, she doesn't play a big part in the story as a whole in the first place, and her dialogue is really bad. I mean, the dialogue in general is pretty poor, but her's in particular really makes me draw back. The constant praising of the MC just is... ugh. You do you though, man. I did get some enjoyment out of this and it's better than the barely english fanfics that plague this site. Peace.

David_Larrow
David_LarrowLv3David_Larrow

You should never have *** with your little brother or sister... and you were doing so well

John_Lombardi_4079
John_Lombardi_4079Lv14John_Lombardi_4079

Great chapter. Their lov/lust is always enjoyable. Tory has always had that that feel to her whenever hes showed his power that’s what made the scene progress the way it did.