Comments of chapter undefined of LIFE WITH UNKNOWN
LIFE WITH UNKNOWN
Kookie_Gee
Chapter comments25
So far, it's fun to read and intriguing. Penelope seems like the most interesting character so far. Also, do you have a character named Lila and another named Lia? That might get a bit confusing unless the two girls are STARKLY different, you know?
You need to decide on a tense and stick with it. The story is good but it is hard to read because the chnage in tenses is a but jarring. Rule i use is speak as I type. I try to ensure my writing is first person and in past tense, Only change tenses to prove something... e.g. like the MC having an erratic chain of thoughts or to make things seem more sudden. The tense is the Only issue i found the story, otherwise Good to me. great job
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