Suiyan
Alright, I have a few points of dicussion here, since I wan’t able to comment on the individual paragraphs for whatever reason. - The phrase “improve your meridians” in that sentence at the start really didn’t ‘fit’ aestheticly, in my opinion. It’s like saying ‘improve your life’, somewhat vague, huh? An actual professional wouldn’t say that, especially not during a more-or-less formal speech. It could use some editing. - Purple, huh? Speaking of purple-grade potential, what is the status of the other child with purple-grade potential back at the Twin’s ‘home’ village? I hate side stories told during cliff hangers as much as the next cynist, but I am curious seeing as a few years have already passed. - ‘Not feel the tension’? Low EQ, ADHD or childish mind? - Looking forward to seeing the other two suffer a bit psychologically. Have their pride trampled a bit and their sense of confidence punched in a couple times should do the trick. Why? Don’t ask. - Hmm... Would it count as animal cruelty if roan delivered a satisfying kick to the juggulurs of that cocky bird? (Don’t answer that.) After all, as his caretakers, they have the right of ‘disciplining’ their over confident teenager in a sense... Looking forward to future developments and the shattering of Mia’s image in the future. The plot point seems so cliche that it’s bound to happen eventually. Toodles~!