TheEnlightenedSage
well... what can i say? ummmm... the story is ok if you touched up a few parts and added more character building, especially for the mc. for instance you could have built upon the mental and physical torture he went through as a child more even if he only remebered them though his memories they still would have left some extermely negative emotions and trauma on him, as a normal person cant just forget and move on from them and that was how you could have explained him being such an asshole at the beginning, even though he never really became good, he did calm a little thankts to his new found emotions such as love and friendship thanks to shikamaru and hinata but we never really saw you build on their relationship and thats why a think alot of people dropped it when you had the mc dith shino like a piece of dirt left on the side. you also never really built up on shino and him going through such a bad experince woth the mc and bought him back into the story towards thr end. of your gonna brink him back into the plot at least have him appeare from time to time throughout the series. i think author san was like the mc and jist dothced shino on the side when you could have made hik into a really inseresting character. also some plots you didnt get to expand upon should be propperly done if your gonna drop it should give a reason, even of a crappy one you could just make a bs reason and it woild have been fine. e.g. the travel to another animeverse just say that he became too powrful for said univerese and he saw no reason to go. just a few line and it woild have tied the book togerher a bit more and made it a more enjoyable experiance for the reader. any hoe those were some of my points on the book and yes i dont mine you didnt e stick to canon but at the same time you shoild of used the history and knowledge of the naruto verse to explain. e g inoshikacho is a military might and secret combination of the village and no leader in his right mind will destory that ballance for easy paperwork. instead you coukd have baught in a few more charcters like thier parents to influence you choice and have a reasonable explanation. inos father doesnt want her to know of the brutallities of war and hopes to give a new choice in life than what he had to go through in the second shinobi war and listense to all her demands. thats all for now