Comments of chapter undefined of Bound to Evil

Personally, I feel like you’ve been overusing the POV changes as of late. At most, it would be reasonable to have a single change per chapter. Any more than that (considering your current chapter lengths) would feel disjointed. In terms of character development, I feel it would work best if you release character info slowly, especially in regards to Lazar. You don’t need to insert a big chunk of it in a jarring flashback chapter. Reveal little details here and there. In dialogue. Actions. Decisions. Who ever said you had to lay out the complete picture? Memories aren’t ever that convenient. Might be a near way to organically reveal his past. In regards to future plot direction, I feel as though the most natural course of action would be the emergence of some shared threat, which incentivises all the horsemen to gather in one location, whilst also acting as a gateway to future conflict with a major antagonist. The choice in the antagonist could also be a really nice way to flesh out Lazar’s backstory, forcing him to look back on his past to find clues to help defeat the antagonist (or at least a branch set up by them). Lazar knowing something about the antagonist could also be a great way to highlight the horsemen’s ideological differences to each other once they meet and would give Lazar the logical justification to take up some sort of leading/advising postion amongst the horsemen, despite his class-predetermined combatant role. I can already imagine a few ways this can be done, but the excecution is up to you. I realise that you likely plan for Lazar and Amandla to make the journey to Declan and the other naive one - whom I currently have no respect for - seeing as you set up other characters as survivors, but you could also keep them ‘developing’ in the background so that they can act independently from the horseman in some kind of B-plot or lead the survivors later, having been trained up. Another, more risky way you could take it would be to introduce a shift in the dynamics that would bring about not only a new series of threats, but also serve to further the plot and the lore, answering the pertintent questions which both characters and readers would have regarding the apocalypse. Perhaps the intervention of some of the figures that were responsible for facilitating the apocalypse? This could range from people, ancient races, extraterrestrials, ‘gods’ and all manner of different entities in-line with your established mythos. How exactly you do this and what form this interventon would take (whether it be a grand entrance to explain ‘new rules’ to the survivors, or as gradual, encroaching influences) is up to you. The reason I say this is risky is that while this direction has a great deal of potential, it is not particularly easy to get right. In fact, developments like this are often the stumbling stones of many similar works. Now, before I get ahead of myself, I’ll stop myself here and just say that regardless of what you decide to you with this world, please be consistent. I don’t care if the plot development goes at a snail’s pace from here onwards, but don’t forget (or miscommunicate) key information or retcon previous information. That is the surest signifier of a rapidly declining story for me, so I would appreciate if it didn’t happen to this work. I look forward to reading more of your work in the near future.

I really like the changes in perspective from character to character; however, I feel that the sudden change from third person to first person is too jarring. Maybe try staying in the same point of view, but still switching between characters.

so foe the storyline I really enjoy how you switch between the point of views for the chapters to get a different perspective and to have lazars Normal to be shown through others eyes as different . also a theory based on foreshadowing is somehow death might have been or is his grandfather and he altered lazars memories