Comments of chapter undefined of Omni-Mastery
Omni-Mastery
LightningAsura
Chapter comments272
Writing tip: instead of explaining why he does that show the reader the goal and the thought process eg: his goal was to take advantage of this time to train and to that he needed a source of protein/nutrition also you were too hasty you should have gone slow the first few chapters to be able tomake things tense especially since you have a desperate mc that would have left a deeper impression of him which would be the base of your character design influencing his every descion and setting the personality and with that any change in this later on would a huge personal growth . the real world itself has no setting which year is it , what type of world it it .how does it affect the mcs environment ,the state of society like )most people lived a dull and gloomy life working in the flithy and disease filled factories to provide for those who were priveleged making a vicious cycle were the poor made the rich richer and ian was to determined to break out of this cycle)/ ii was the year 2099 and humanity already (insert achievemengs) and they were more prosppores then ever but to some it an alien like world even though they lived in the same cities to them it was a dog eat dog world where showing the slightest weakness you would be eaten alive and ian was a boy who?
