Comments of chapter undefined of Inevitable Road To Divinity

I enjoyed the book young paranoid and if this is your first then its a good start. there are a few things ive noticed that could help your writing: 1. when doing dialogue more often then not you should put who is speaking after or before the dialogue so it’s clear who is speaking. better writers with a good grasp of english can omit names but id recommend you include them as theyd help alot with understanding your writing better 2. Your sentences most of the time should have a subject and an object that the subject is acting on in some way. in alot of your sentences sometimes one or the other gets omitted and it’s confusing. also sometimes you contradicted your self in two sentences back to back alot because you forgot to put not or a “n’t” but that could be fixed easily with editing and some basic english grammar classes. 3. This is more about plot and keeping more readers but i think if your going for a fluffy novel then the dark and sad themes should be used less imo. Yes the setting is in a cruel world but the MC and his family should outshining the darkness.there were times that were really tough to read through bc the MC or family kept making mistake after mistake and then there were things like duan qiu dying. i feel like most people came for the relationships and how they develop and that should be focused on more than the MC getting humilated and being forced to become stronger. especially when you can’t write the reunioun like the fireworks it should be. qiu qiu resurecction to me was kind of bland. it didnt happen until the end of the book and it left me still unsatisfied as to why she needed to die at all. there were also times where you looked to make drama where it felt unnecessary like di xun and then maria feeling sad their daughters are going to xue ren. i would have liked it better if xue ren dealt with the problem the women were having and solved di xun’s smoking problem way more than another powerup or cultivation. 4. dont be swayed by other’s beliefs. you can create the book you want and nobody should be able to change your vision. if you wanted xue ren to have sons? let him . if you wanted xue ren to not have relations with his daughters then dont. but halfway sticking your foot in is wrong no matter what. pick a path. if the daughters were going to be with the father then it should be in a happy way but the way you did it where it made the mothers sad put a bad taste in my mouth. anyway you know your book better than others and i hope you keep working to get better! thanks for the book