Comments of chapter undefined of The Last Embrace
The Last Embrace
Lizabelle88
Chapter comments176
To those who just started reading. In the next chapters, writing will become better, so don't pay too much attention to the mistakes. The story itself is really very interesting. I like it very much! Currently on ch 67 and love it more and more! Came back here to let you know my opinion. So just keep reading, you will like it!
I'm here to help writers fix grammar errors. The great nothing! Here are a few that stuck out: "When his parents wave goodbye and leave him alone in the new surrounding, he felt so sad and lonely." wave-->waved "But for the time being, he needs to perform his task earnestly and that is to protect and safeguard this pretty evil girl in front of her." her-->him "His parents visited him regularly on his dream, reminding him always that the girl under his watch is their only hope for survival in the future." "on his dream"-->"in his dream "reminding him always"-->always reminding him "Because of thirst and hunger, many vampires perished through the years, their population were dwindling, due to the fact that they were unable to suppress their hunger for human blood." "population were"-->"population was" (population isn't plural since it means a single group. Ik English is weird) Same sentence: through-->throughout "Before she knows it, he was already behind her, his movement was comparable to the speed of lightning!" knows-->knew Also, I don't think you should make the paragraph that sentence is from present tense when your story is past tense. "Every time she smiles and laughs, it never fails to brings sunshine to Adam's heart." brings-->bring Sorry about the nitpicking list. I probably won't comment more mistakes unless they poke me in the eye. First chapter and I love it! I usually hate vampire novels, but I like how this one started. The witty remarks and the romance is so cute. >3</
