I really like the concept behind it all. I love light novels like this! There's some noticeable discrepancies between present and past tense in this chapter, along with some spelling and general grammatical errors. If these are touched up, it might help grab the reader into the story!
Interesting. Hope you have editors to help you out with errors. Your novel looks promising, just needed to weed out those darn grammar mistakes. I will be adding this to my library. Good luck and hope to see more of your works
I really like the idea. The typos and grammar mistakes are a little distracting but not too bad. A more careful editing will do the job. Oooh. Can't wait for her to get her revenge against her evil sister.
I'm a bit late to this HAHAH but it's a good start! The beginning of the novel could, perhaps, use a few more variations in sentence structure instead of using multiple ****** sentences in a row! So alternate between short and long sentences to make the story flow better! 😍