Comments of chapter undefined of Dual Cultivation

I would never have guessed that this was the first *** scene you have written. It was extremely well written and I hope we will get to read more of these scenes!

Ha! Ignore those flamers of yours, if they’re saying that you don’t deserve the top spots on the rankings then they’ve probably not seen your story and thought the worst of it, just because it has mature themes. If they have a critique they want to give, then that’s fine, but if they just spam flames, then ignore it. I personally really don’t look at the reviews because then I’d be heavily biased based on the reviews (and because there’s usually spoilers), and I want to judge every story when I read them, without bias. There’s a defecit of good stories to read so my SoD is very stretchable. The only criteria I have is that the story has good grammar and smooth flowing dialogue. Yours has an abundance of both, only being shared with at most five other original stories on this site that I’ve read. Congratulations, you got to the top of the rankings. Even if your story got a big start because of your *ahem* very appealing synopsis/cover, your storytelling, grammar, and dialogue kept your readers from leaving. I hope you keep on writing, and that you continue to improve. Tl;dr: Ignore flamers. Congratulations getting top of rankings. People came for the promised smut but stayed for the story. Good job.

The dragon has awakened (O_O)

"But just remember that this is a mature novel and I give zero fucks about censorship." When a novel is basically about MC Cultivating while having ***, i don't think NSFW warnings are necessary, not to mention censorship...

"Also, let me know if this is too mature or too descriptive" you know author if you write novel with name "Dual Cultivation" you expect some hard core *** scene so you question is irelevant :)

I will be honest. I laughed while I read the first paragraphs. But I want to say thank you, I have not laughed like that for a long time. These lines were divine. it was so stiff that not even walking was able to cause it to move, like a firm mountain. she was unable to look away from his thick and long rod, seemingly captivated by its presence.

Well author. If there is llikers for the novel. There will be haters. But u being no. 1 shows that there a lot more likers than haters

Full marks on the intercourse. Where's the cultivation?

*unzip* *Zip back* Need moarr chapter to stack 😣😣😣

I will offer some constructive feedback about the chapter. As a s e x scene it is very well done. The tone was on point, the characters were believable and the scene was all chronologically believable. Most of these scenes (friends with benefits s e x ) need the following elements: Light-hearted request, undressing, foreplay, penetration, recovery then s e x, then afterglow/repeat . You're missing the setting during the foreplay, how they interact within the room. Are they lying down. Are they standing up etc. You're also missing any recovery, unless the girl just soldiered through her hymen breaking. I feel the "experienced " Mc should have stopped and kissed her until the pain would fade. You use a lot of descriptions that feel superfluous, when you are describing him continuing to thrust. You add iron hard rod. .. it seemed more of a mouthful and concentrated on the wrong details. Something like, he kept thrusting, pushing her deep into the mattress with each, agonizing, forceful thrust.. is another way to draw the attention of the audience, tell them what is occuring and doesn't rely on finding new phallic metaphors. You had.. something like 7 metaphors? I can't remember but there were many. Draw the audience's attention away from the organs themselves and allow for the environment to bring to their attention what's happening. To mention how the head board was smashing against the wall as she braced herself.. - is very standard. Other than that. I enjoyed the scene and am glad that he made this whole dual cultivation moment more lighthearted. As well as it is with the person best suited, that he has access to. Excited for more! And I do hope the feedback was helpful.

@MyLittleBrother I appreciate the attempt but I'd like if you read some other 'works' as well. tbh your earlier massage chapters felt a lot better. As you said, one can tell it was your first attempt. you chose a bold theme and I really liked that. all the protagonist acting like their dicks were chopped off the moment they are born is really irritating. hope to read more :') **: pls correct grammatical errors.

It is very easy to write romance and s e x scene. But can you make it so that Lan Liqing's was not just a harem girl, but a full-fledged character in history?

If you put up ads, I believe most of us would support you.

The descriptions are actually quite well done. It's not too vulgar, yet very descriptive and... colorful lmao. I just hope that no plot twist happens like *cough* someone barging in in utter jealousy *cough* sect expulsion *cough* blackmail *cough etc. You get the point.

try not to mention so much penis there are other novels that use adjectives and it is better for the other perfect follows

I honestly don't get why people are getting butthurt over this novel, if you don't want a story which heavily focus on ***, then don't read it lmao, a bunch of retards. Anyway I greatly enjoyed the chapter ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) looking forward to the rest

lol, will next chapter will be continuation of this H-scene? little shameless advertising my own work in this popular novel comment section!~ +18 - Harem Palace Sect's System while waiting this novel updated, why not read this work of mine! my grammar is bad, care to help me edit it? as long as you can help me with editing with free cost then I thanks gentleman for his kindness!~

The Exp Sect approves 👍👍

First to come ;^)

I see you're a man of culture as well... But maybe you watched a bit too much hentai? I surely wouldn't be able to write like this ever, and pls don't let me be the only one that hoped dragon and hot rod would not be mentioned?? Ever???