Comments of chapter undefined of The Bastard In The Zombie Apocalypse
The Bastard In The Zombie Apocalypse
Immortal_Shades
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Immortal_Shades
So brutal... No offense, I have read reverend insanity, but this was really difficult to read. Btw: "He stopped talking because the dark figure suddenly appeared right in front of him" "He raised his head and saw the dark figure's eyes." Ok I just wanna give you a bit of advice here; since you already mentioned it is a black figure, there is no need to repeat it, you can just say: "The figure's dark eyes" or: "The figure's eyes", I think it enhances the readability a bit. Also, in the next sentence, when you say: "It was dead and cold.." it should be "THEY were.." because you are referring to the eyes, right? I know how difficult it is to write when it's not your native language (I'm also doing it), so keep it up. Looking forward to the next chapter!
