Comments of chapter undefined of World Domination System
World Domination System
KillerHemboy
Chapter comments131
>For a half-hour, he could do nothing but clutch his head and keep screaming due to the pain that seemed to be building up towards something. I remember this episode of Dragon Ball Z...
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KillerHemboy
I'm impressed with the story, but hope the origins of the MC doesn't become meaningless. Like, once he accomplishes dominating a particular kingdom he's able to temporarily connect with his original body on Earth. Allowing him a chance to live two different lives with the system. If he starts dominating cities or countries on Earth, it may create a dimensional reaction - allowing him the chance to dominate even the heavens and beyond. My imagination is exploding because I want this story to blow my expectations. Keep up the great work.
This is so dumb man, I am normally getting frustrated with this book just when I started enjoying it. Creating a faction within the academy? With his dumb thinking? Wouldn't this escalate once the authorities find out? He would only bring trouble to everyone. Look at how fast these guys are progressing. Although, he has reached level 1, he is still too slow with all the advantages he had at the beginning. Also, is he not getting experience from attaining knowledge from libary anymore? Is there no feat for mastering spells or getting so much collections from the libary? What is happening with the "...you will get Exp points for everything that lead towards the goal?" He didnt even gain achievement for reaching level 1, right now he should have had over 10k Exp for all he did in the past 3 months + 1 year at school. This happens alot in my books that has to do with system leveling. Also, fies he gain the respective knowledge from what he scans?
Another missed opportunity. Show not tell would have been good here to describe the pain of the breakthrough. By how you wrote his breakthrough your downplaying the importance to the reader. Making it insignificant. How can it be impactful if we don't see the pain, feel the pain, feel the price he has to pay each breakthrough. You might as well not bother saying the breakthrough was painful if your not going to show it. It becomes redundant when you do that. It raises the stakes and draws attention to the reader that breakthroughs are important when they are described.
