Chapter 37: Faith, luck, and a lot of hard work.

After a few minutes of silence, Karma got up out of bed.

"What're you doing?" Rea crossed to stand directly in front of her. He looked at her as if he'd never seen her before.

"I have to use the bathroom." Karma struggled to steady herself. She held on to the bed to get her bearings. She wasn't sure how long she stood there before Rea wrapped his arms around her waist. She waited for him to help her to the bathroom or toss her back into bed, but he did neither of those things. Rea pulled her close and held her to him. As they stood there, his eyes gazed at her naked body. Her skin heated where his eyes traveled.

His eyes spoke of anger and concern, but it was clear by his embrace that his body wanted her. She didn't like seeing him so confused. He dropped his head to her shoulder and inhaled. She wanted him to accept that he was attracted to her, and maybe, he always would be. It wouldn't be so bad if they were together. Why couldn't he see he was being damn obstinate about this? The sooner he got over what had happened and came to terms with their relationship, the better.

"Karma." Rea finally broke the silence. "You have to move slowly at first. Gears said it'd take time for you to get all your strength back. Your body needs time to recover from the drugs he gave you."

Karma nodded, but she didn't want to talk. She was basking in the excitement of Rea holding her. For the moment, even if his actions were only because he was helping her, it didn't matter. She wanted to enjoy having him touch her again. Cautiously, she let her hands slide up and around his neck to cling to him.

"Don't," Rea whispered and swallowed hard.

"Do you mean that?"

"No"

Gently she pulled his mouth to her seeking lips. She gave him every opportunity to pull away or shove her back onto the bed, but he didn't. Defeated, he dropped his mouth to enclose her lips. His warm breath filled her.

A knock on the door brought them both out of their trance. Rea pushed her toward the bathroom. She stumbled and then stood gripping the door frame. She heard Rea mumble something about being stupid, and she held the door handle while he headed to his computers.

"It's Ken. I was expecting him. Get into the bathroom. I'll call you when he's gone. I need to find you some clothes."

"I thought naked and tied to your bed was an option."

That drew a grin out of him, but he didn't respond. Instead, he waved his arm in a gesture that she supposed was "get moving."

Karma slowly shuffled into the other room.

As soon as the door closed behind her, she could vaguely hear Rea and another deep male voice in the other room. She tried hard to listen, but she couldn't make out anything and gave up. She decided she didn't care right now. She would take a long, hot shower and get clean. Then she was going to come up with a plan. She needed to figure out how to get Rea to keep her with him after Fletcher was dead.

Her father had told her once that if she put her mind to something, she could figure out how to get it. He said nothing was out of her reach. The first thing she wanted was Rea. She wanted him with all his weaknesses and strengths. Karma understood him in a way she was sure no one else ever could. She believed that with time and effort, they could be a real "we."

Karma considered whether if she acted fragile if that would force Rea to take care of her. They would spend lots of time together if Rea thought she was weak. Karma discharged that idea as soon as it came. No, if she wanted Rea, she would have to play with her cards on the table. No lies. That's what she was sticking to.

Karma took her time brushing her teeth and using the bathroom. She was exasperated at how the easy act of showering was now difficult. As she moved the best she could, she made sure not to push herself too hard.

When she finally grabbed a towel, she heard a rap on the door. The thump echoed off the tiled walls as she reached for the towel bar to support herself.

"Karma? Ken's gone." Karma heard Rea's muffled voice as he opened the door a sliver. She was having a hard time moving quickly enough to answer. She expected him to burst in and make sure she wasn't breaking his rules.

Sure enough, after about a minute, the door opened. Rea stood in the doorway like an avenging angel. Karma ignored him and kept drying off her body.

"What're you doing?" He looked her up and down.

"You know—" She stopped herself from laughing. "I think you have a knack for asking silly questions in the bathroom. I'm drying off after my shower. It's slow. My muscles hurt. My everything hurts."

Rea shook his head and snatched the towel out of her hands. She expected him to be rough with her because his mood was as stormy as the wind on the surface, but his actions were gentle. Gingerly, he patted her skin and then scooped her up in his arms.

"Don't get used to this," he muttered into her hair. She smiled as she held onto him tightly.

"I was thinking how lucky I am to have a big strong man take care of me. It's all very romantical, being swept off my feet." Karma laid it on thick, and her comment drew a reluctant smile out of him.

Rea set her on the bed and arranged the blanket before sitting next to her hip. She was thrilled he stayed by her side, but she didn't want to say anything in case he changed his mind.

"Why do you always mention luck? You know it doesn't exist. Hard work and perseverance are how you survive in the world. Luck is as useless as faith. Those things aren't real."

Karma regarded him thoughtfully. He meant what he said, but it sounded like his father talking instead of him.

"My dad totally believed in luck. So much so that before I'd go on a job, he'd play one hand of poker with me. If I beat him, then I left. If I didn't win, he'd postpone the job until Lady Luck had returned to my side. I know life is about hard work, but it made him feel better, and honestly, it made me feel better too. Sometimes when you're scared, it's nice to feel like something or someone is on your side."

"That's nuts." Rea fluffed her pillow. She could see he was thinking more about what she'd said. "The cards you had on you when you first showed up make sense now."

Karma smiled and thought about her father.

"Yeah, those cards were my dad's. I agree it is a bit silly, and it's not really a good way to live your life, but I think life is a mixture of luck, hard work, and faith in something. Maybe it comes down to finding all three."

Rea leaned back against the headboard and was silent. He looked lost in thought, and she hoped this didn't end up in an argument. Right now, fighting with him was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Ken says he believes in luck. Gears is always going on about faith, and my dad thought hard work was a religion. When I think about it, none of them seems any happier than I am. We're all looking for something, but we don't know what we want. Does that make sense?"

"That's an altogether different question, isn't it? What are you looking for? Are you looking for happiness?"

"Happiness is out of my reach." Rea sounded so sincere his tone made her heart hurt. She didn't want him ever to think that.

"That's your dad talking. You can have anything you want."

"Anything I want?" His eyes studied her face. A smile touched his lips. She saw the grin right before it vanished.

"Anything." She giggled now that his mood had lightened some.

Both Karma and Rea fell silent again. After a short while, he got up, hiding a yawn.

"Where're you going?" Arranging her face into a disinterested mask, she kept the note of desperation out of her voice. She kept it out, but only just barely.

"I can't sleep with you, and it's late, and I'm tired. I'm going to get comfortable in my chair." He gestured to the office chair in front of his computer. Karma glared at the seat like it was a beckoning female rival.

"You're not sleeping in a hard, uncomfortable desk chair. That's silly. The bed is big enough for both of us, and you're sleepy. Just be here with me."

Rea's face showed his indecision, and she could see his fatigue all of a sudden. She wasn't sure how she'd missed it before, but now she saw his haggard appearance. He hadn't shaved. Dark circles stood out under his green eyes. She wasn't drowsy, but then again, she'd been sleeping for days.

"Rea, what's the problem?" she asked when he kept standing.

"I'm not going back to sleeping with you." His voice had a thread of doubt in it.

"It is sleep only. We've lots of issues, but it doesn't mean you should be kicked out of your bed."

Reluctantly Rea climbed onto the mattress with a sigh. Once his head was on the pillow, he turned his back to her. After a second, he turned to face her and then switched again.

"Now what?"

"I'd hate for you to stab me in the back." One of his eyebrows rose, and sarcasm dripped from his lips.

"Very funny."

Rea sighed. "I don't want to put my back to you, but I don't want to face you. If I face you, you might think I'm making some kind of move on you." He appeared so torn that Karma had to dig deep not to laugh at his logic.

"I won't knife you in the back. I'm naked and unarmed, remember?" She put her hand on his shoulder. The action stopped his spinning.

"I've not forgotten." He yawned.

Karma carefully ran her fingers through his hair. He didn't stop her. He murmured nonsense sleepily and snuggled closer instead.

"You're drained, aren't you?" she commented more to herself as he relaxed.

She continued to run her fingers over his head and neck until he was completely pressed up against her body.

"I stayed up with you while you had that fever."

Those words lifted her spirits, and she wanted to tell him that they were a "we."

"How very romantical," she murmured instead as she kept her smile to herself.

"Ken wasn't shocked you came back. After I told him everything about you, he said you sounded like quite the girl, a real keeper." Rea's murmur was languid, and Karma wasn't sure he realized he talked.

She didn't comment. Instead, she thought about what she should do to protect him while she was here. She also tried to come up with a way for the two of them to heal as a pair.

It was a bit of a struggle to heal a relationship after you'd shot someone.

Still, she'd had struggles in the past, and she always got it figured out. If anyone could do it, Karma was sure she could. All it would take would be faith, luck, and a lot of hard work.