chapter 17

Zenitsu wasn't sure what to make of Kamado Tanjiro. To be fair, he wasn't quite sure what to make of Kamado Nezuko either, but she seemed to be a little easier to comprehend – if not truly understand – than her brother.

Her brother who was a Hashira.

Her brother who had fangs.

Her brother who both sounded like and unlike a demon; both like and unlike a human. (Thankfully, he heard more human than demon, but he'd still found it unnerving.)

Her brother who somehow sounded like both an old tired man, and a teenager about Zenitsu's age.

Her brother who sounded so unfailingly kind, but as if that kindness was old and worn out, like a much-loved blanket or haori one just can't seem to bring themselves to replace. That part of the Pillar had been tested far too many times without reprieve and somehow it sounded like he kept that kindness going out of sheer will and while it was completely genuine, it also hid an edge of painangerRAGEhurt that almost made Zenitsu want to cry. It was deeper than it should be, he thought, for someone his age (part of why he sounded like an old man too), even though he couldn't even try to explain that thought away.

Kamado Tanjiro was a dichotomy wrapped in an enigma made of opposing thoughts and it was so discordant…and yet not unpleasant. Just… different.

Kamado Nezuko, in contrast, was a girl with a will of iron, determined to do whatever she had to – in this case, pass the Selection. She was kind too, and sweet (and pretty) but she also had a core underneath that bubbled of anger and frustration and protection…

It wasn't terribly difficult to figure out her story in general, but when adding her brother to the picture – the brother she so obviously trusted completely and who she loved with all her heart (as her brother loved her)… He couldn't begin to guess at their pasts and true motivations.

And yet he found himself trusting Kamado Tanjiro too, at least enough to fall asleep as they waited for the sun to rise.

(He really, really hoped this didn't count as 'outside help', but he was also in the wisteria forest, where demons couldn't come, and he had made it here in good time – because he'd had to run from the demons, of course, but they'd only said he had to survive, nothing more.

Because he does not, under any circumstances, want to do this again. But that wasn't enough to stop him from drifting off.)

"Oi!" A loud voice that sounded far too much like Kaigaku than anyone should be comfortable with jolted Zenitsu from his rest. He listened closer and heard the difference between the owner of the voice and Kaigaku almost immediately. Both of them were scary and strangely unsure of themselves, both covered that with their anger, but while Kaigaku seemed to feel that the world owed him something, this boy sounded different – more desperate somehow.

He really hated that he could hear that from people. It made him feel like he was taking advantage of them.

It was also why he tried to be so loud. He just wanted to drown it all out sometimes. Or all the time.

Not knowing so much about people would do his heart good, he was sure of it.

"Shh!" Tanjiro (he was so using the boy's first name if he'd fallen asleep on his shoulder) said, but the damage had been done.

"Nii-chan?" Nezuko asked groggily.

"You woke them up!" the Hashira scolded the approaching boy. He looked to be about their age, maybe a little older, and had both sides of his head shaved, leaving a dark strip of hair down the middle. He also had a large scar across his face and looked like he would kill them all. Actually, he kind of sounded like that too…

"Wh-wh-WHO ARE YOU?!" Zenitsu heard himself yell as he pointed and scrambled back, only to realize that the safest place at the moment was likely beside the Hashira he'd also moved away from and quickly remedied that.

The taller boy ignored his question, gesturing at them in general. "What are you doing resting here?! How long have you all been here?"

"Not long," Tanjiro replied nonchalantly, as if he felt no threat from the boy. "Which is why you should let them rest. You can rest too, if you like." And then the Hashira smiled. And he was sincere. And Zenitsu couldn't help but just stare at him, horrified and incredulous. The kid wanted to murder him and he just… just… invited him to rest with them?!

WHAT?!

"Nii-chan, what's going on?" Nezuko asked as she sat up, yawning. If Zenitsu wasn't so scared right now, he'd coo over how utterly adorable she was!

"The point was to stay in the forest for seven nights! If you all are here, early, then you all failed!" the boy accused.

"TH-TH-THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Zenitsu wailed. "Tanjiro-san, tell him it's not true!"

"Nii-chan?" Nezuko asked. "I thought we were just supposed to make it here and that it takes about seven days to get here!"

"That's the gist of it," Tanjiro assured them. "I'm sure Ubuyashiki-sama wouldn't throw out talented and much needed demon slayers because of a misunderstanding and an hour."

"In the field, an hour can mean someone's life and death!" the newcomer shouted.

Tanjiro just continued to smile at him. "In the field, one or two seconds can mean life and death, but resting when you can and finding people you can trust can also make the difference between life and death."

The boy spluttered while Tanjiro looked up at the sky, then climbed to his feet and stretched. "The Ubuyashiki siblings should be here soon anyway, so I suppose now is as good a time as any to get up."

Before anyone could say anything else, a very, very good looking girl with pink hair and very, very little actually on dropped from the trees and landed in a crouch in front of them before standing up.

"Tanjiro," she said, "what's going on?"

"Oh, Genya-san here didn't like that we were resting a little bit before the welcoming ceremony."

She blinked. "Really? But a good demon slayer rests when they can find the time."

Even with his hearing, Zenitsu couldn't tell if her innocence was real or not. In his defense, the view was… distracting.

The boy (Genya?) spluttered again, looking and sounding like he would spontaneously combust at any moment. After a few seconds, he did, letting out a string of curses that made Zenitsu wince. (To be fair, he would have likely winced at anything the boy said, but this was particularly bad.)

"Who do you bakas think you are?!" he finally yelled. "Acting as if you have any control over the Demon Slayer Corp!"

Everyone just sort of stared at him for several seconds before Tanjiro and the newcomer exchanged glances, then both bowed to him.

"Kamado Tanjiro, Sun Pillar."

"Kanroji Mitsuri, Love Pillar."

It was kind of funny to see the boy pale like that and take a step back. But then his sound changed from one of outright aggression to one of cautious aggression.

"Sun… Pillar? Wait, are you the Hashira who's also a demon?"

Wait, what?!

Tanjiro straightened looking very tired. Kanroji straightened (something Zenitsu enjoyed very much) looking disapproving (something he didn't enjoy nearly so much).

"I am not a demon, yet. With some luck, training and planning, I may never be."

"You won't become a demon!" Nezuko spoke up, face set in determination. "I'll become a Pillar so I can stand by your side and you won't have to fight so hard, Nii-chan!"

Tanjiro's eyes widened in surprise, and then softened, touched. (Their interaction was so adorable it was almost painful.)

"Nezuko…"

Then Kanroji squeed, high-pitched and very, very loud, causing Zenitsu to slam his hands over his ears. She suddenly became far less attractive. She also rushed forward and grabbed Nezuko in a hug as the girl flailed.

"You're so adorable! I know you'll get stronger, Nezuko-chan!"

"M-mitsuri-san, please let her go," Tanjiro said.

"Oh, right! Sorry!" she said, letting the other girl go and stepping back sheepishly.

For a moment, Genya's and Zenitsu's eyes met, and Zenitsu distinctively heard the boy's thoughts. These are the pillars supporting the Demon Slayer Corps? Seriously?

Zenitsu sighed and nodded in solidarity.

Just then, a new figure came onto the field. Another pretty girl, although she was also another mystery. (Zenitsu was getting tired of those.) Dressed in a kimono, she daintily stepped onto the scene, following the stone path without so much as a hair out of place. She had a smile fixed firmly in place and a sort of blankness about her sound that put Zenitsu on edge.

"Oh, welcome!" Kanroji-san said, calling out to the girl and waving happily. "Now we're just waiting on one more." Then she gasped. "Oh, I forgot to tell you, Tanjiro, he woke up and is heading this way. He should be here soon."

Tanjiro sighed. "Of course," he said. Then, much to Zenitsu's confusion, he put his nose in the air and sniffed.

"Huh. Yeah, he's almost here."

"You can tell that just from scenting the air?" Kanroji asked, sounding surprised. "I thought scent traveled more slowly than… well, that!"

"Oh, it's not just the scent coming from a person," Tanjiro responded as if it were the most natural thing in the world to be able to smell what he was describing. "It's how the other scents change as people move and how the air currents move."

"You can smell that?!" Zenitsu heard himself ask.

Tanjiro blinked at him. "Well, yes. You can hear it, can't you?"

He… could, actually. But how did Tanjiro know that? Well, he was a Hashira and said he knew everyone on the mountain. Zenitsu just hadn't realized that meant detailed information and secrets he would have preferred not come to light.

"Why would you say that out loud?!" he shrieked.

Tanjiro blinked. "Oh… you didn't want me to say it?"

"NO!"

And then, to Zenitsu's surprise, the boy bowed. "Please forgive me, Zenitsu-san."

The clearing fell into silence save for Genya's angry muttering.

Before the yellow-haired boy could say anything, though, the loud stomping of footfalls came thumping from further down the mountain. Zenitsu turned to face it as the sound came closer. Then a figure rushed into the clearing. Zenitsu couldn't help it if he shrieked at the sight of a boar's head coming at him like a freight train.

"Who is thaaaaat?!"

"Monjiro!" the boar-head said, and it took a moment for Zenitsu to realize the… creature (he sounded like a human boy, but…) had aimed for Tanjiro, not him. "Fight me!"

"Inosuke," Tanjiro said gently, holding up his hands, "I can't fight you right now. We're about to officially close the Final Selection!"

"I don't care about that," boar-masked boy yelled, leaping in the air to come down on top of Tanjiro.

"Nii-chan!" Nezuko said, leaping forward at about the same time as Zenitsu. As frustrating of a puzzle as the other boy was, he didn't want him hurt by a boar-headed boy with twin swords! However, before either of them could get Tanjiro out of the way of the oncoming strike, he grabbed both of them by their collars and leaped back, taking them with him while Kanroji cartwheeled off to one side, looking torn between amusement and worry.

The boar-headed boy landed angrily.

"Ah, I see," Tanjiro said knowingly. "You can't sit still. I get it, Inosuke-san." Zenitsu felt his eyebrows rise a little at the boy's matter-of fact tone that had a knowing edge to it.

Almost immediately, the boy with the boar-head froze, then pointed his sword directly at Tanjiro.

"Of course I can do it! I'll sit stiller than all of you right up through the end of the ceremony!" And, acting like a small child, he sat down on the stone walkway, swords still in hand. He didn't move.

Zenitsu looked between boar-head and a smiling Tanjiro for several seconds.

He hadn't realized until that point just how dangerous Kamado Tanjiro could be.

He couldn't help but think he was glad the boy was on their side.

xXx

Mitsuri smiled softly as she looked over at the Kamado siblings. Nezuko had fallen asleep on her brother's back while he carried her down the mountain and towards the former Water Pillar's home. Mitsuri herself remembered Kyojiro meeting her half way after she'd passed her own selection, and carrying her the rest of the way back to the Rengoku estate.

Good times.

And seeing it reenacted here, between these two cuties was just…

She put her hands to her cheeks and silently squeed (she'd been doing so intermittently on their journey back to the Urokudaki household).

And Tanjiro said he had four more siblings! She would meet them all and she couldn't wait! It was sort of typical for her to reach a threshold of how much love and adoration she could process and then find something that somehow drove her even further. Sometimes, she just felt so much she thought she'd burst… but then, she wouldn't have it any other way.

"Inosuke isn't following us, is he?" Tanjiro asked. "I can't smell him, but we are heading into the wind."

Mitsuri closed her eyes and opened her senses as far as they could go. She sensed nothing, so she smiled.

"No. It seems he's returned home as he promised." She giggled, thinking back on their previous encounters. "Telling him you didn't think he could keep his crow alive was a rather brilliant idea. I think he may have tried to eat the poor thing otherwise."

Tanjiro snorted, amused. "Oh, he would have."

"Still, he seems like he could be a particularly strong demon slayer! I can't wait to see what he becomes."

The red-haired boy grinned over at her. "Everyone who passed that particular selection will be amazing. Kanou-chan is a Tsuguko and very good at her style whereas Zenitsu is one of the heirs to the Thunder Breathing style, and Inosuke has created his own breathing style with very little training while Genya-san can't use breathing styles but has found a way to fight demons anyway and Nezuko is… well, she's always been amazing."

Was it just her, or did Mitsuri see the girl's cheeks darken. So she'd woken up, huh? The Love Pillar couldn't help but giggle and had to squash down another squee at the cuteness.

Then she thought over what Tanjiro had just spoken. "Genya-san? Isn't he Sanmei's brother?"

Nothing negative from her fellow Pillar – no contempt, no annoyance, no frustration. Just a genuine grin. "Yup!" Then his grin faded. "Although Sanmei-san keeps pushing Genya-san away to try and save him, not realizing he's hurting his brother more in the long run."

Mitsuri felt her own mood dampen. How utterly sad! Shinazugawa Sanmei had gotten on her nerves a couple of times, but that… What kind of pain had he gone through to end up like that? Sometimes she felt she'd gotten off easy simply having been born different. Her family was still alive, none of them had been attacked by demons or eaten… but she knew she was one of the few like that in the Hashira. Shinobu had lost her whole family to demons, as had Shinazugawa (except for his brother, apparently). She wasn't sure what had happened to Iguoro-san, but Tomioka-san had lost all of his family, and Himejima-san had lost all of his children to demons… Honestly, it looked like only her and Kyojiro of the pillars still had their families.

Well, and Kamado. Thankfully.

Whenever she thought of that, she couldn't help but be grateful for her family and that they were all still alive. But part of her wished she could understand her fellow Pillars better so she could help them more too. Ubuyashiki-sama seemed to be able to, despite having his whole family alive… but then, his entire lineage had also been cursed with such terrible sickness for as long as they could remember because of Muzan himself. Maybe that helped him be more empathetic? Or maybe he was just that amazing.

It was funny. She'd honestly never seen herself going into any kind of organization like this – not the government, not any sort of dojo and most certainly not an under-ground force fighting literal demons. And yet she'd found her place here – a place she'd never thought she'd have. She wanted other people to find their place too.

"I… hope they make up," she finally said. What more could she do? It wasn't her place to intervene, especially seeing as she and Sanmei didn't tend to get along very well (although a lot of that may have to do with her support of Tanjiro in general…).

"Yeah," Tanjiro said quietly.

They walked in silence for several seconds before Mitsuri spoke again. "We could hurry faster, you know," she said.

He paused and looked over at her, worried. "Do you have somewhere you need to be? An assignment?"

"Oh, no! I'm fine," she reassured him. "I have a couple of days to escort you back and then I'm going to do some training and sparring with your cultivator! So I have two weeks before I need to be back. I was just saying."

"Ah," he said, relaxing a little. "Well, I'd like to give Nezuko a chance to rest a little before we hurry on. Besides, this… is nice." He gestured around them to the fields of rice outlined by trees in the distance. It was too late in the year for cicadas, but it made for a lovely scene. And warm despite the sunset almost gone in the distance. Yeah, she could see the appeal of taking their time.

She opened her mouth to agree when Nezuko spoke up.

"You don't have to go slow for me," she said, sitting up on her brother's back. Mitsuri did think she looked better for the amount of rest she'd gotten. "We can hurry home. I can even walk! You don't have to baby me, Nii-chan." Although she said it only half-heartedly, likely because while she was positive she could walk, she probably knew it would be painful… either that, or she knew her brother wouldn't give in.

He didn't.

"It's fine, Nezuko. You rest. I remember coming back from my first Final Selection. Took me days to get home and I had to lean on a staff for most of it."

His first… Oh, right! He said he's from the future. Sometimes she forgot that. Or perhaps it was better to say she'd just accepted it.

Nezuko winced a little, probably because while she could walk, she would likely have to limp and use a staff herself. Mitsuri reached out and touched the girl's forehead too, checking to see if she was still warm. She was.

"You still have a fever, Nezuko-chan," she admonished. "You should rest as much as you can."

"Precisely," Tanjiro agreed. "Thank you, Mitsuri!"

"It's evening, though," the younger girl protested. "I've been resting all day!"

"How about we hurry once it gets dark, then?" Mitsuri suggested. "Then we can get there faster but still enjoy the time right now. It is lovely, and I don't always get a chance to look at the sunset or the early stars."

"Because we're either traveling, investigating, or fighting at night," Tanjiro said, grinning.

"Well, you're not wrong," Mitsuri replied, returning the grin. She really liked this atmosphere. She felt like an older sister instead of the younger one. It was a good feeling she could definitely get used to.

The fields around them gradually turned into wilder land and then a sparse forest. The low chirp of Japanese crickets began to come to life around them and sounds of the night followed soon after. It was… peaceful. Not something Mitsuri usually associated with the night. She really was loathe to begin hurrying now… so she didn't voice the option. Neither did Tanjiro or Nezuko.

At least not until the crickets stopped.

It was gradual, but still noticeable, and suddenly the silent forest didn't seem so peaceful anymore.

Tanjiro came to a halt as did Mitsuri.

"Nii-chan," Nezuko said quietly, like she didn't want to break the stillness of the night, "what's wrong?"

"Something's coming…" Mitsuri answered.

Then Tanjiro's breath hitched.

"Akaza," he said, then looked over his shoulder. "Nezuko, I need you to go with Mitsuri-san."

"Tanjiro," she started, but her brother cut her off.

"One of the demons in the wisteria forest must have seen me… and through them, Muzan. He's sent one of his Waxing Moons here. I've beat him on my own before, but not when I'm protecting someone."

Nezuko gasped while Mitsuri gripped her sword hilt, looking around grimly.

"Can we out-run them?" the Love Pillar asked, placing herself next to Nezuko who would likely need the most protection at this point.

"I… don't know," Tanjiro said quietly. "If it were Four or below, I'd say it was likely, although one of us would have to engage Four or Five and then make their own escape when an opening presented itself. But this is Three… So… maybe? We should probably be grateful it isn't One."

"You really do know about us, huh? Waxing Zero."

Mitsuri blinked.

Wait… what?

"You said you were a demon, not a Waxing Moon," she hissed quietly, feeling a little betrayed.

He glanced over at her for a moment. "Where do you think I got all the information from?"

Oh. Well… that made sense, she supposed, but she thought he'd gotten that information through many loops and fighting them instead…

"Does Oyakata-sama know?" she asked, keeping her voice as low as she could.

Tanjiro nodded.

Good. That… had still been a shock, but…

"I want to hear it all," she said.

"Later," he promised.

She nodded.

"Are you two done?" the demon, covered in what looked like tattoos – lines and marks criss-crossing or running parallel to each other all over his body before curving away at the ends. If Mitsuri hadn't been so on edge, she might have found it interesting – maybe even pretty from a certain point of view.

"What do you want?" Tanjiro asked, having drawn his sword. He held it in front of him firmly, never taking his eyes off of his opponent.

The demon tipped his head to one side. "You, obviously. Well, I don't necessarily want to capture you. Lord Muzan does… although if you're strong enough…" he licked his lips. "I am a little hungry."

Tanjiro's expression faded into a more neutral one while Mitsuri couldn't help how her face twisted in horror and disgust. Then she steeled herself.

"Nezuko-chan," she said quietly, "I need you to promise me you'll stay out of the fight."

"What?" she asked angrily. "No! I—"

"You don't understand," Mitsuri cut in, looking the girl in the eye. "This is above you. It might be above me."

Nezuko looked worriedly between Mitsuri and Tanjiro.

"We may have to run simply so we won't be in his way," the Love Pillar concluded.

"Oh, that's great!" the demon said to them, smiling.

It was rather disconcerting to have a demon smile at them like that.

"The weaklings, women and children can leave so we can fight all out!"

Tanjiro snorted. "If you think that either Nezuko or Mitsuri are weak, maybe you should work on gauging strength." He said it with a smile, but it looked sharper than she was used to seeing on the boy's face.

Akaza's smile disappeared and his eyes narrowed.

Nezuko's eyebrows drew together. "Nii-chan…" she said softly, having noticed the difference as well.

"Well, we'll just have to see who's stronger," the Waxing Moon said, rotating his shoulder as if to warm it up. "If I win, I take you back to Muzan-sama. If you win… well, I've never lost to a Hashira before."

Tanjiro still didn't look fazed.

The world seemed to hang in limbo for a second that stretched over an eterniety.

Mitsuri didn't know exactly what happened after that, but suddenly they both moved, almost disappearing from view. She could follow it, but only barely. Her heart rate sped up and she looked to see Nezuko's eyes wide in shock and horror.

"That's what it's like to fight a Waxing Moon," she said softly as the two backed up and began to hurry away. Mitsuri only tangentially paid attention to them, though, focused more on the girl in front of her.

Nezuko had schooled her expression, but she still looked shaken. "I… still have so far to go," the girl said sadly, clutching hard at Mitsuri's arm. "I… can't even see them… I… I'll just slow him down."

"I know," the older girl said, sympathetic. It was a hard lesson to learn, how dangerous some demons could be and how good one had to become to be on their level. "Come on. Let's get out of here."

Neither of them wanted to leave… but it would really be in their best interest to get away as soon as possible. Mitsuri could probably help Tanjiro, but she didn't want to leave Nezuko unguarded, not in her current state. Nezuko gritted her teeth, but followed when Mitsuri hurried away from the fight.

"Use this," the Love Pillar said with a smile. "Use this to get stronger. Because you can and you will, Nezuko-chan."

The girl didn't answer, but her hand clutched her sword tighter, and Mitsuri took that as good enough for now.

They were just coming to a bend in the road when something twinged on Mitsuri's senses and she froze, holding her arm out to stop Nezuko from moving forward. From the trees ahead of them stepped a man… no, a demon. He was smiling at them with his eyes closed. It almost looked warm. Almost. He had long, blond hair under a strange hat and wore matching robes.

"Oh, ho! You two really are cute! This will be funner than I thought!" the demon said, then opened his eyes. Mitsuri hated to have her suspicions confirmed. His rainbow-colored pupils read 'Waxing Two'.

"Mitsuri-san," Nezuko said quietly, fear in her voice. Mitsuri didn't blame her. Waxing Three had been bad enough… She struggled to remember everything she knew about the demon before her. "What do we do now?"

The pink-haired girl just stood straight and stepped forward. "We fight." Because they didn't have a choice.

"You don't have to fight," the demon said, as if to contradict her thought. His voice was melodic and calming. It only set Mitsuri more on edge. "You can live forever through me!" He paused then looked between the two girls for a couple of seconds before his eyes focused back on Mitsuri. "Well, you can. Unfortunately, I can't kill you, my dear, lovely as you are," he said to Nezuko.

It was Mitsuri's turn to grit her teeth as she took a stance, daring the man to come at her. He wouldn't take Nezuko hostage, not on her watch.

(She really hoped she could live up to that.)

"What do you want with me?" Nezuko asked.

The man tapped his chin for a couple of seconds. "Hmm. I have a couple of options. I could take you back to Muzan-sama, or I can torture you in front of your brother… although I don't tend to find that idea fun enough."

The Love Pillar's breath caught in her throat. She knew that allowing Nezuko to be taken hostage would not be good, but her fear for the girl suddenly shot up several notches… because she had to face the fact that she may not be good enough. She could likely keep herself alive, probably if she prioritized escape, but while protecting an injured comrade...

"Why do you want my brother?!" Nezuko asked, likely hoping to stall more than anything. Good girl.

"Why?" the Waxing Moon repeated. "Because Muzan-sama wants to know how he became marked as one of us! There's definitely a story there, you know." Then his eyes lit up and he clapped his hands together, putting them to the side of his face in a picture of thoughtful happiness that didn't fool either one of the girls in front of him for a moment. "Or, maybe you know why? Has he told you, perhaps? You can tell me and then I won't have to go after him or you anymore!"

Mitsuri could tell Nezuko didn't fall for that. Good. If Muzan found out that the girl's Nii-chan was from the future, he'd only redouble his efforts to capture him.

"Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you!" she yelled. Mitsuri nodded at her in approval.

The demon frowned. "Pity." Then he took out some golden fans. Their sharp edges gleamed in the moonlight. "Well, perhaps it's time to play."

And with that, he swung his fan down hard.

xXx

Omake – (Crack)

Muzan wasn't sure exactly how they'd gotten onto this topic, but he was sure it had to do with the new thorn in his side – the sun breather brat and his family. But even then, he wasn't quite sure how it had come up. Someone had mentioned their parents and then someone had mentioned 'Muzan-sama's child' and then Kokushibo had brought up his own child. Apparently he'd had two when he'd left to become a demon slayer.

Silence reigned in the room of the infinity mansion.

"Wow, you're a terrible parent," Gyutaro had said dryly, his sister nodding firmly right next to him. Seeing as Kokushibo had been the ones to recruit them, Muzan found that particularly amusing.

Or maybe that was the sake he was purposefully not metabolizing. Night's like this didn't happen often, but he did tend to enjoy them when they did.

"I'm not as bad as Muzan-sama," Kokushibo defended. "I would never kill my child and he's planning on it."

Well, he wasn't wrong. When she became a liability… although, truthfully, he'd been surprised when she hadn't seemed to have any demon traits at all whatsoever. But, no, both she and her mother had come out of the pregnancy completely human.

The two Waxing Six Moons turned their horrified expression on him.

"You're both terrible parents!" Daki whispered.

Had it been any other time and had he been less drunk, he might have completely destroyed her for that. However, since he was that drunk, and since alcohol seemed to be the only human food that demons could drink without extreme discomfort, he simply found himself denying that.

"I am not a bad father!" he insisted. Then he turned to Douma. "Am I a worse father than Kokushibo?"

The Waxing First squawked in protest, but Muzan ignored him, fixing his eyes on his Waxing Second.

The blond demon smiled. "You both seem fine to me."

More silence because even in his state and mindset, Muzan could tell there was something very wrong about that.

So he turned to Akaza. The Waxing Third didn't even wait.

"You have a kid?" he said excitedly. "Can I fight him? Is he strong? He has to be strong! Why isn't he a Waxing Moon?"

Muzan just blinked. "She's five. And human." Hence why he was considering killing her when she outgrew her usefulness.

The look on Akaza's face almost caused Muzan to burst out laughing. He looked as if he was told he could never fight again as he reached down and poured himself more sake. Muzan doubted they'd get any more out of him that night, so he turned to Hantengu. He almost regretted it when the demon yelped and cowered away, cradling his sake like his life depended on it.

"D-douma-sama's right! Y-you're both good!"

The Waxing Second preened, Akaza rolled his eyes while Daki and Gyutaro both protested… loudly.

"What about you, Gyokko?" Kokushibo asked. "Do you think I'm a worse parent than someone who will simply kill their child out of convenience?"

Muzan was this close to metabolizing his liquor and making Kokushibo regret asking that.

"Do your children appreciate art?"

The Demon King actually rolled his eyes at that. "I told you, mine is five. Or six. She might be six."

"Mine is dead. I have no idea if he could appreciate art or not," Kokushibo said flatly.

Even with mouths for eyes, Gyokko managed to look offended. "Heathens! You must teach them art at a young age and keep their appreciation high! You're both terrible!"

At that, Gyutaro spoke up. "Thank you! Yes! You're both awful." Beside him, Daki nodded her head emphatically.

Gyokko grumbled and began to pout himself, also taking more sake.

Muzan and Kokushibo both just stared at the three of them.

Finally, Daki spoke up. "What?" she asked angrily. "You've both either abandoned your child or are planning on killing them. You can kill us for it, but that doesn't stop the truth. You are really bad parents."

Well, never let it be said that he couldn't take criticism. Muzan knocked back another glass of sake, then sighed.

"Fine, I won't kill her." But then what could he do? He couldn't risk her falling into the hands of the demon slayers. Then he glanced over at Akaza, still sulking where he sat. That gave him an idea and he smiled. "I'll turn her into a demon!" Why hadn't he thought of that before?

"Better," Gyutaro ventured.

"At least she'll grow up," Daki muttered.

"Oh! Will she be cute, Muzan-sama?" Douma put in. "I can take care of her for you! And she can live forever through me!"

Muzan shot warning glare at his Waxing Second. "I am not letting you eat my daughter!"

The blond's smile fell away as he looked at his master, pleading. "But Muzan-sama—"

"No."

He sighed and reached for another cup of sake himself, also pouting.

Seriously, these were his upper ranks.

Meanwhile, Daki and Gyutaro seemed to be discussing something quietly. Muzan raised an eyebrow pointedly, but let them continue.

Finally, Daki spoke up. "We have to admit, that was the best parenting we've seen from anyone in this room."

"Therefore, you win, Lord Muzan. You're definitely the better parent."

"Keep it up," Daki said with a smile as she raised her own sake cup to Muzan.

He couldn't help it if he preened for the rest of the night. He was a better parent than Kokushibo… or anyone else there! Ha! Even if he had to put up with four pouting waxing moons for the rest of the night.

Although it might be much better for everyone to forget any of this ever happened in the morning… for their continuous good health…