2. Through pain into better day.

Karis was sitting in the restaurant stirring her drink. Jack was late as usual, no messages, no calls, no explanations, just late. By now she even started dreading he will cancel this meeting too. Knowing how many dates he cancelled, her fear was justified. She made eye contact with waiter and gave him a bit of awkward smile, thinking, its about time not to be a floor rag and be the one who cancels it, woman started shuffling her purse looking for a wallet. She felt a bit of irony, this was the same restaurant where they have met for first time, went on first date, celebrated all their anniversaries, said goodbyes when Karis went for studying, met to celebrate her coming back with fresh masters degree, and now will be the place where it ends.

Jack rushed in and sat down on chair in front of her last minute. Her hands were shaking as emotions slowly started to overtake seeing his slightly distressed face. His eyes kept glancing behind her somewhere in distance. It took Karissa sheer amount of will power to not look behind her and focus on what is in front of her and how to tackle the problem.

She have been living with her friend for past week, after one day, when she came back home, and instead of hearing either silent room, guinea pig screams or even Jack gaming, she heard moans. He was there, home early, with short skinny girl riding him. Her heart clenched and went numb after few minutes, she prayed to gods the girl was at least of appropriate age from sound that was reaching her ears. She leaned to door frame and waited for them to end. Jack noticed her soon and either from stress or time he finished soiling himself and the woman. Young woman jumped off, getting more and more red trying to collect her clothes, as she tried to rush past her still naked, Karis stopped her with one hand and looked down at her protectively.

-Don't rush, go to washroom, take a towel from a cupboard under the sink, take a shower and get dressed, don't embarrass yourself going into corridor naked. I am not angry at you,-she gave reassuring smile to compensate her cold voice and looked back at naked man on the bed.

-Is she even of legal age?-he sat down, not even trying to cover himself, she already saw everything before, and he had nothing new to show.

-Look, I am sorry, when you were abroad, I had urges, and she was very nice to, me, she was lonely, I was lonely, and now she was going through some difficulties in life and…

-You decided that best way to help her is by fucking her? I came back from abroad half a year ago, that's a terrible excuse, I really don't want to see you anymore.

From that day, she had packed her guinea pigs and started moving out routine. She would come back home for several hours to go through her stuff, binned loads of her possessions that she decided were more of liability. Their different work hours had given her huge advantage so she didn't need to see him anymore.

Every night she cried herself to sleep thinking where she had gone wrong, overthinking that she might not have been enough, all the possible scenarios where she was the one responsible for his behaviour, yet none where she admitted, that he was just a douche. In the end after long evenings with wine glass and talks with her best friend she gathered her strength, prepared mentally and set a new course of action.

And now she sat in her favourite restaurant with set mind of giving him the last bit of rent and her set of keys. Step 1 done and gone.

-Oh my, the traffic was terrible. How are you?-he tried to pull off his charming smile, which didn't work on her anymore. Karis didn't smile but stopped looking for her wallet.

-Weird. I have been here an hour and when I was driving there was no traffic at all. Well, no more than usual,- she didn't let her eyes off him reading his face.

She got him. Why did he had to lie? It was over, he should have understood it.

-Oh, maybe it gotten worse after you came. You know how traffic works,- he chuckled it off and took the menu, like he hasn't had it memorized by now- have you ordered?

-No, but I know what I want already,- she noticed him glancing at his phone.- are you in rush?

-Oh I had planned going to pub later on with friends, so I was just seeing what they are talking in group chat.

She sighed and chuckled. Strike 2. Does he think she is stupid? She could see a woman's name popping up with every notification.

Neither of them brought up the actual reason why Karis invited him for diner while they ate. She did told him they need to talk. Jack was first to break the silence, he looked at her and said with more serious voice.

- I know that you wanted to talk about that last incident, but can we meet up next day for it?

-No, we cant,- she ignored him frowning and before he replied she gave him all peace of her mind.- I don't think its working out. We have been on and off for what, 10 years? And the relationship just hangs in there. You only try to improve everything when I snap, there is no initiative from your side, I am seriously tired. I tried everything, I offered you everything, i changed so much for you physically and mentally, and you don't even want to stay with me for longer than few hours in public. We may have been living together but you were barely at home. How often do you ignore my texts for days, then you come back home and expect food to be ready. I see no ring on my hand, but you expect me to wash your clothes, make you diner, satisfy you in bed, for what, when was the last time you realy satisfied me? And on top of that, you were cheating on me, and somehow it became my problem because I was abroad, reaching higher education to get better paid job that you literally made me do it, – She pushed envelope with keys and money, his nose wrinkled as he clearly didn't like what young woman has said.

-Well, Its all your fault. All you do is ask me to do things I don't want. You know, all these ten years I don't know what I have seen in you. You are right we should end this, I don't know what I saw in you and why I have had to put up with you all these years, I was a good man, I have waited for you to finish degree, I have waited for everything and you did this to me, I would have married you, but you wanted me to sit at home and be with you, while I wanted to see more, and experience new things. I guess the ring will go to someone else, someone more worthy,- he stood up, took the envelope and left, Karis looked long time at one point feeling everyone's gaze, his voice was unnecessary loud. This caused her cheeks to flare up. With the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of a woman meeting him further away, wrapping her hand around his as they walked away. No mistake. It was the same short woman he said not to worry because neither of them was interested in each other more than few nightstands. Of course, that happened, the biggest cliché, when he said it's the boys, but it was just other woman. Not surprising, but she was really glad its over.

The waiter brought only hers order and leaned closer to her.

- I will apply 20% discount for you, we cancelled his order, so you don't need to pay for that too. Are you ok? Do you want to bring any friends over so all of you could share discount and they would cheer you up?- Karis smiled and nervously laughed.

-Thank you, that's very generous of you. I am good, it will be just me thank you,- he patted her shoulder squeezing it a little.

-Don't listen to him, it's not your fault,-waiter tried to do his best and walked back to his work. She was regular in this restaurant because the food was cheap and tasty, and the alcohol was good, therefore waiters' behaviour didn't surprise her. If she remembered correctly his name was Todd, he and other girl Kim, very often remembered what she liked to order and often applied small discounts for her. Since it was privately owned restaurant, they had a bit more freedom.

While eating Karis still felt looks darting to her back, yet she was busy now.

∆Its over. Plan A is in action∆ she texted into her group chat of her 2 closest friends. Both sent joyful gifs expressing their excitement. They all knew that it was dragging way too long.

∆How long are you going to eat??∆ Asked Adora. She was in carpark with her guinea pigs, dying from boredom.

∆Almost done. I hope you don't mind helping me on your day of to move into my grandmas summerhouse?∆

∆As long as we could have some barbeques XD∆ Freya send few gifs to match her statement.

∆Grandma's flat is too far away from work. And summerhouse is halfway. I threw my life savings into that damn flat so I have nothing on me basically to rent a place by myself. Besides. It is still painful to me. Just wait until you will hear what he told me. I think being in fresh air is better. Besides hugging some trees and laying on grass always helped me to calm down. It might be temporary. We will see.∆ Karis finished her meal, paid and went back to her car. Adora was waiting for her in her car, since it was warm day, she had aircon on, so guinea pigs on her back seat wouldn't overheat. Yet with Karis request she made sure that they would not get too cold or get a draught of wind.

-Are you ok?- ah that question. It brought tears to Karis eyes, she bit her bottom lip and shook her head.

-This is good. This is how its meant to be,- she whispered to herself feeling tears trying to surface. Why she wanted to cry, she cried every day for this man, she swore her heart was numb, yet why she was getting all of this adrenaline? Its not like she started shouting through whole restaurant. She wanted to solve it out in most humane way possible. She was not the bad guy.

Karis called her grandma.

-Hello?-grandmas voice was slightly confused and surprised. It wasn't that often that she called her.- Did something happen?-she added before Karis could say anything.

-I am moving in the summer house for now at least. I need place to stay.

-Its so sudden, when? Did something has happened with Jack? My dear that boy is no good for you, I never liked it.

-Well, he made a scene and we broke up, I am with Adora right now, we will come in few hours.

-It is very sudden, but your room is always ready, just give me some time I will cook. Be careful when driving ok? There is a lot of traffic in the big city. Does Adora want anything special? My dear you should have said sooner, i dont have much food,-Karis smiled, grandma always said that, but somehow managed to prepare a full table worth of feast in less than half an hour.

-Always am Grandma. I see you soon,- words started bubbling in her throat.

It took her several minutes to compose herself but then abusive messages started pouring from Jack. He called her worthless, gold digger, useless, all the possible insults he and his friends could have thought about flied from his messenger. Few minutes later as his anger finished his tone changed too. Now it was more about, thinking about future, maybe we can work it out, and what she is going to do without him, this made Karis laugh. As she stopped at traffic light she looked at her own reflection in rear view mirror and shook her head.

-Rip it off like a band aid,- she said to herself. But it didn't really hurt. At least not anymore. The bandage was ripped off long time ago.

For past 10 years she cried and laughed many times. It was not just bad. Jack was her first boyfriend and they stayed together through better and worse. They lived together for 5 solid years. After Karis came back from abroad with master's degree in her hands his behaviour has changed. It felt like he just lost interest in her, it felt like having roommate instead of partner. He wasn't there anymore when she needed him, but she always had to be there for him, listening to his endless work issues. Now that she was thinking, he did become a lot more distant while she was studying, and their intimacy never came back to original flame.

And now, once it has ended, she doesn't feel bad or sad, yes her brain and mental health is telling, it might have been her fault all this time, to which she repeatedly said no. There was no love between them for past year, every day she would think why she was dating him, kept looking at him trying to find any kind of shiver in hear heart, any softness but it felt stone cold and heavy. Very soon his toxic traits that she deemed liveable became hard to deal with.

When she was driving with music blasting on descent level not to harm her guinea pigs hidden in the houses, she felt emotions piling up, it was not sadness, for now at least, but anger.

How could she allowed him to behave with her like that, why she didn't finish this misery earlier? Why? She didn't deserve that. She played this lovely wife role for way too long.

Short beep got her back in her mind. Freya's car was a bit behind, and as she noticed, she started speeding, and speed camera's were nearby.

Going through familiar forest kind of calmed her down. But her emotions fluctuated like a roller-coaster. She tried to focus on stories her grandma used to tell, bout how she used to walk through this forest in winter, how happy they were when they have reclaimed this house after Soviets moved away from the country, how she heard wolves howling, even how she believed she saw some mystical creatures roaming around at night. How fireflies would appear on the outskirts, she sometimes called them soul whips. She opened her window breathing in fresh air filled with fresh smell after thunderstorm that happened last night. It was hot again, July sun was shining bright.

Karis didn't want to succumb to her sadness. Not when weather was so nice.