day 1of trip (how can I expect a kiss from a boy
but...he said ..... Yes, without looking at me he said,,,,,,,,,are you okay? .....This was the second time he told me . I still remember it. how fast was my heartbeat I did not have any heart disease but I was afraid that I would have an attack that day. ... But he said to me, he said ....""""are you ok..?
Jihara had stopped talking and turned to look at KAKERU..... Hey, he fell asleep. Maybe he was very tired, that's why he fell asleep. I can't even sleep I haven't eaten so I'm hungry , And because of hunger I can't sleep ...Jihara speaking in a low voice , Then Jihara looked at KAKERU."KAKERU was in a very deep sleep right now ,Jihara smiled slightly and turned towards KAKERU and sat down . Jihara was scared ,what If anyone found out that they slept together ,Jihara wasn't worried about himself, he was worried about KAKERU , Then Jihara's eyes went to KAKERU's face,,,,,,,""""He is still the most beautiful person in the world. ,Jihara extended his hand towards KAKERU, he wanted to touch KAKERU's face. , but if KAKERU woke up then ...Thinking this, JIHARA retracted his hands. ..... But he was looking at KAKERU for a moment. Whenever Jihara's eyes looked at KAKERU's face, he used to put his hand on his heart. , and Jihara could not control himself for long. , he reached out his hand and gently placed it on KAKERU's face , Jihara closed his eyes and felt KAKERU's face. , Jihara was sometimes caressing his forehead and sometimes moving his fingers on KAKERU's lips. , and sometimes placing his hand on KAKERU's cheeks ..... But I don't know why Jihara could not stop himself and Jihara had tears in his eyes. Jihara started crying as soon as he touched KAKERU's face. , Jihara had placed one of his hands on his mouth because he could not stop himself from crying loudly. ...And then Jihara quickly ran away from the camp and went a short distance away and sat down on his knees and started crying bitterly. ,,,,, With sobbing breaths he looked at the moon and said """"""" Why can't I bear the old pain today?
But KAKERU opens his eyes as Jihara leaves the camp. because he hadn't slept yet , He was in confusion and said to himself in a strange tone """""ahhhhhhhhh fuck... I felt like he was going to kiss me But why am I thinking about someone , ,,,did I want that too? , No no,,,,,, I am not gay ...how can I expect a kiss from a boy I am not gay ,,,,,,, I am thinking about whom because I have not had sex with any girl for a long time .And so the hormones inside my body keep demanding sex. Yes, that's it ,,,, But when Little Bird put his hand on my face I felt good At that time, I wanted him to keep touching me the whole night. To be honest, no one had ever done this to me before But why did the little bird touch me? ... Is he attracted to me because he is gay? , Has he started liking me but why would he like me? He loves the moon. ,,,,, Yes maybe he got attracted by my smart face that's why he was touching me. But he considers the moon to be the most beautiful. .....ahh,,,, bastard moon ..... KAKERU gets up and sits down, holding his head and says """" But why am I abusing Moon? And why am I thinking so much about Little Bird ,,,,, I don't care about A gay boy,,, I need sex right now and maybe he does too, that's why he was touching me ...nonsense ,
Jihara's eyes were still heavy, and he was still looking at the moon. ... then a voice came from behind ,
"""Are you ok?
Jihara looked behind him ,,
KAKERU was standing behind him .
Look at KAKERU, he was scared after seeing KAKERU ...Jihara quickly cleaned his face And replied """"", how did you wake up so early .
He replied """Don't know But why are you sitting here?And were you crying right now
"""No...no,,, it's not like that,,,, I was not crying..look at me.I am good,Jihara shrugged his shoulders and said, "I just wanted to look at the moon and I can't sleep."
KAKERU sits next to Jihara and says """So what happened next?"
Jihara asked """you said you heard because you fell asleep in the middle
"No, I did not sleep." I just closed my eyes and you thought I was asleep.
Jihara was shocked """"""""what.....? Because Jihara remembered that he touched KAKERU From Jihara's face it seemed that he was very nervous. ..... He explained while saying """"""""""""""""""""""""""""I ...I am just...ahh
Kakeru smile and said""""little bird are you explaining me but,,,about what,...? I mean you are gay ,And at that time you were attracted to me and that is why you touched me. ,Then KAKERU said in a slightly harsh tone, "But I am not gay and don't behave like that with me again."
KAKERU's harsh words were like acid in Jihara's ears. , tears were flowing from his eyes , he was just looking at KAKERU with tears , he didn't know what to say Jihara is feeling a lot of pain .... He is gay, it does not mean that he is attracted towards every boy. ,,, Jihara said in a subdued tone """" I don't know what is called gay. I have loved only one person in my life so far If loving him means becoming gay ,,,, So yes..... I am gay....
And sorry for touching you, I will never make that mistake again....Jihara was just thinking in my mind """"" I was helpless yesterday also and I am helpless today also. ...Jihara was angry at his own actions as to why he could not stop himself. Why did he touch KAKERU after all?
KAKERU says irritably, "Why do you start crying like girls?" Nonsense ....go ahead ,,,,,what happened next , In the library, Moon had said without looking at you,,,,are you ok....? so what was your answer to that And did you two talk about anything further?
Jihara got up and said, "I don't want to tell you any further."
But as soon as Jihara got up, KAKERU held his hand tightly and pulled his towards him. Jihara fell into KAKERU's lap with a thud. , KAKERU held Jihara in his lap and twisted Jihara's hand hard and said """"""""Why do you think you can refuse me? ...You have only two options, either you tell me further , or will you spread your legs for me right now.