27 You’ve Hit on a Gold Mine!

Just as the two are chatting, Yuan Ge's TweeChat app suddenly rings and Violette Fu, who is in Switzerland, unexpectedly calls him on video.

"Son! The picture you sent, the resolution is too low! Quick! Get closer, let me see the coffin!" The voice actually sounds quite excited.

There must be something fishy behind her sudden phone call like this! Yuan Ge knows his mother too well, and looking at her eager face, he knows that the whole coffin business would not be that simple and straightforward. There must be something unusual about it.

"Hey, Momps, I have to get rid of this coffin in a hurry, the crew has already pissed off the Guan family. So what do you say, is it an antique or something? The wood is particularly heavy, is it cypress or cedar?"

"Didn't you say there were unpainted places? Get over there and show me a place that hasn't been painted!"

Yuan Ge does as he is told.

In such matters he trusts his mother; she is, after all, a highly respected professor of folklore at Beijing University. She is not a serious person at home, always mischievous and not at all like a mother, but to the outside world she is an absolute authority in her field of study.

He zooms in carefully on the coffin with his phone's camera, showing his mother every detail. The bottom of the coffin is thick, with a peculiar texture and wood grain, and a faint aroma could be smelled. When he taps the coffin lid with his finger, it makes a clear ringing sound. Where the paint has peeled off, it appears charcoal black with a greenish tinge.

"... a gold mine! You hit on a treasure trove! Son, is there anyone by your side? What did the Guan family say, do they want this stuff?"

Ever since Yuan Ge has answered the video call, Du Jinghai has walked away discreetly. Seeing his mother's obviously excitement like she has won a lottery, Yuan Ge sighs, "There's no one around, Momps, so if there's anything you want to say, just hurry up and say it. That arrogant assistant of the Guan family has just left, and he told us to get rid of it asap because it was too unlucky."

"What does an ignorant assistant know! He has no idea what it's worth, hahaha..." Violette's voice sounds distant, but also high-pitched, like a hungry cat that has found the most delicious fish.

"It turns shiny black in water and can sink and float...this is the truly precious water-fossilised 'gloomy wood'! 'A chest full of gold is no match for a piece of ebony'. Haven't you heard of it?"

"How should I know what a 'gloomy wood' is! I don't read tomb raiding novels!"

"What tomb raiding! You ignorant kid, haven't I told you before that 'gloomy wood' is semi-fossilised carbonised wood, and the process of fossilisation usually takes more than 2000 years! But if it takes too long, it's also no good, as the wood would easily be ruined and turned into coal. It's a pity that the wood of this coffin is not water-fossilised Phoebe zhennan but rather - yes, it looks like the grain of that big ginkgo tree by the Dragon Pond, otherwise such a coffin would be worth millions in wood alone, not counting the heritage value it has. Hurry up and show me the ornaments and charms inside again!"

Professor Violette Fu gets excited whenever she sees something to do with ghosts and spirits. Things like coffins and charms are definitely her thing. As the saying goes, it takes a son to know his mother, and Yuan Ge is well aware of her mother's proclivities and often feels helpless.

When Amélie finishes her business negotiations and rushes back to the set, she sees Yuan Ge crouching by the coffin, doing a video call. It sounds like he is talking to his family, and she wants very much to go up and say hello to his family, but the sight of the coffin gives her the creeps. Yuan Ge sees Amélie from a distance and smiles at her gently as a greeting.

Violette is still talking excitedly on the phone, "... The writing on these talismans looks familiar, I'll have to double check and study them after class. By the way, son, are you 100 percent sure that no one wants this coffin? Definitely don't throw it away. Tell you what, you take it home with you! Mum is pretty sure that it's definitely a historical artefact!"

"Momps, are you kidding me! Are you sure you want to bring a coffin back to our house?" Yuan Ge doesn't believe in ghosts and spirits, but who on earth wouldn't mind having a coffin in their house? It takes up space and is an eyesore. This is plain crazy.

"What does it matter! 'Coffins cough up promotion and prosperity'[1]. Let me tell you, it's certainly worth enough to buy a top-of-the-line movie camera …"

"Vivi, what the hell are you talking to your son about!"

Before Yuan Ge has time to consider whether his mother's offer is tempting enough, he sees on the screen that his father, Yuan Fen, has walked over and dragged Violette away, dropping a grave warning before leaving, "Son, if you listen to your mother and dare to put that coffin in our house, I'll stop your allowance immediately!"

Then there is the sound of an argument between the couple, while the phone's camera is pointed at the empty ceiling.

Yuan Ge has long since gotten used to the way his parents got along. He sighs helplessly and looks at the time; fortunately, they should both be off to their respective university classes soon and wouldn't be torturing him for too long.

Eventually, Violette's loud squeaks could be heard over the phone again, "Son, you have to listen to your mum on this! Don't forget who is holding the purse strings in our family!" The TweeChat call was then hung up abruptly.

--------------------

[1] Coffin is pronounced in Mandarin as "guan cai", which are homophones for "promotion" and "prosperity" respectively. This is not an idiom. It is the author's clumsy attempt at wordplay, trying to link the two languages together.