78 Pickles Fit for an Empress Dowager
I really want to have it out with Yin Fenghua and replace this incompetent leading man!
This thought has been on Yuan Ge's mind all day.
However, it's only been a few days since filming began. If news of the director and leading man falling out gets out, it will definitely affect the future of Dragon Dreams …
Just as Yuan Ge is getting depressed about the whole thing, Chow Mingrun appears out of nowhere with an ingratiating smile on his face and announces to everyone, "Hello everyone, thank you for working so hard! Please hang in there and help out with one more thing, and we'll call it a day." Then he turns to Yuan Ge and whispers, "Come on, let's do a product placement. Look, morale is low right now, let's do something that will make money to cheer up. I've been working all day to get these three new sponsors, and a few more are in the works. It's all looking good! Come on, let's take advantage of the crowd today and get them all done in one go, so we can deliver to our sponsors!"
As he speaks, he takes out a large pile of various kinds of pickled vegetables from a cart. Yuan Ge takes a look - they are all products from the villages near the Chow family that Chow Mingyun married into, such as dried radish, drunken crabs, pickled cabbages, cucumbers, nuts and the like.
"Fat Chow, are you kidding? Empress Dowager Cixi eating pickled vegetables while watching an opera show?"
"Why not? The imperial family eats all kinds of delicacies every day, surely they'd want to eat some congee and pickles once in a while!"
Yuan Ge feels his head growing bigger. "If you want to put in this product placement, then you can be the director. I can't stand the shame!"
"Geez, Yuan Ge, I don't know how to direct. I'll have to leave it to you! Seriously though, don't you look down on this commercial. My in-laws' Chow's Pickles has never been advertised for years, yet it's the best-selling pickles in the country! Who hasn't eaten them when they were growing up? If it wasn't for my film production, my father-in-law wouldn't have wanted to do the product placement this time. Chow's maiden ad can be a hot topic in itself. Putting Chow's brand in the film might please my in-laws and it might win me some brownie points for the future."
While organising the scene, Chow Mingrun had the costume department bring over a eunuch's outfit and dressed himself up as Li Lianying[1], the head eunuch. Even Yin Fenghua, who said he had a headache earlier and wanted to go home, came over with a big grin, "Brother Run, are you going to transform into Brother Li? Are you sure that appearing as a eunuch will win you any brownie points in front of your father-in-law? I'm afraid it might have the opposite effect! Wouldn't it make you even more like a kept son-in-law?"
"Ah Hua, it's easy for you to say. Not anyone is fit to be a kept son-in-law living with his wife's parents. As long as I can increase sales and bring more profits to my in-laws' family, not to mention playing a eunuch, even if I have to become one I guess it doesn't really matter."
With a confident look, Chow Mingrun says to Yuan Ge, "Director Yuan, your eunuch-in-chief, Li Lianying, is ready, let's do it!"
Seeing that both Amélie and Du Jinghai have succumbed, Yuan Ge, with great reluctance, goes to explain in person to Professor Wang, the actress playing Cixi and others, thanking them for their understanding, and then arranges for the set before adding this product placement scene from where the previous one has ended.
The stage is a sea of flowers and the crowd is thunderous with applause. The Empress Dowager Cixi is in a good mood and says to Li Lianying at her side, "Little Li Zi, I feel no taste in my mouth, why don't you bring me some refreshing congee to eat?"
So Li Lianying, played by Chow Mingrun, leads a group of eunuchs and served each table with a variety of congee, pickles and snacks. After tasting the congee, Empress Dowager Cixi praises, "This is a wonderful congee, carefully simmered in a casserole and served with the pickles made from a century-old secret recipe. Chow's brand really lives up to its name!"
"Cut!"
"Can we not have the actors read out the brand so blatantly? This is a film, not a commercial!" Yuan Ge is frustrated to no end.
"Don't cut! It was really good!" Chow Mingrun, however, is very pleased with the shooting, "Of course we have to read out the brand. Old Dude, don't forget to give us a few close-ups of these pickles later! Since they are paying good money for it, we have to do it right. Besides, we're not exaggerating. Chow's Pickles have been popular in the capital since the time of Cixi. Yuan Ge, if you wanna complain, just think of the good things about Chow's. Without their century-old flagship shop in the capital, where do we get a prime location for Dragon Dreams …"
Seeing that Chow Mingrun is about to harp on again, Yuan Ge simply shoves the megaphone into his hand, "Fine, fine, you're right, you have a point, you do the directing! I give up!"
"Fine! I'll do it!" Chow Mingrun is on a roll now, so he takes over the director's job, tests the loudspeaker, then shouts into it with a big smile,
"Attention all departments, listen to my command now. Lights! Camera ready for close-ups! Action!"
Seeing the boss has gone into action himself, everybody all went along with it. Du Jinghai is laughing as he zooms in and gives a few close-ups of the many different kinds of pickles from the sponsors. The princes and lords naturally praise in unison and squeeze out happy smiles as they eat all the pickles on the table against their will. Both Empress Dowagers eat a bowl of congee each and hold half a spoonful of pickles in their hands, listening to the opera while eating, looking surprisingly content.
"How shameless!" Yuan Ge shakes his head on the side, absolutely speechless. He can only watch his artwork turn into a farce, but is powerless to stop it. To add insult to injury, when Chow Mingrun finishes directing the scene, he even jogs over to brag about his work and fish for compliments, "You have me to thank for that, Yuan Ge. All product placements I agreed to could be done naturally in the film. At least these foods were already available in the Qing Dynasty. What if I get a sponsorship from a plastic sandal factory? That would be a real challenge for you!"
Yeah right. With his hand on the forehead, Yuan Ge cringes inside, but he has to admit that what Chow Mingrun said is true.
The product placement scene arranged by Chow Mingrun caps off an unpleasant day of filming, bringing an inexplicable comic effect to a film with tragic overtones. The NATA students, led by Waylon, have happily played eunuchs and are all laughing and joking afterwards, and have finished the day in good spirits.
After seeing off Professor Wang and the NATA students and teachers in person at the entrance of the Rong Mansion, the crew wrapped up and left, but Yuan Ge's work is far from over.
When he returns to his office, he pulls up the video of the day and watches it on a loop. An irrepressible anger still burns in his chest, especially when he sees the footage of Yin Fenghua. The gap between his poor performance and the Rong Qing he wanted to portray in the film could not be easily bridged by editing and post-production!
What am I doing here! A load of rubbish! This isn't even the film I want to make!
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[1] Li Lianying was a Chinese imperial eunuch who lived in the late Qing dynasty. He was highly influential during the regency of Empress Dowager Cixi, who was the de facto ruler of China from 1869–1908 throughout the reigns of the Tongzhi Emperor and Guangxu Emperor.
