1 I'm sorry, but what does I'm happy mean again?

I couldn't stop crying. No matter how many times I wiped my face. I just sat there in front of the cold grave which holds an even colder body.

I hate this feeling. It hurts.

"Please stop..."

I'm so pathetic if I had just asked her why she was sad...why she looks out the window with eyes that yearn for something. I wanted to tell her 'even if she hates herself, the world or even me... I'm always here...for her

The tears kept coming

I've already lost my mother, father, Elder brothers, my twin sister and now my best friend, May.

May's dad grabbed me by the collar and lifted me off the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! BECAUSE OF YOU MY DAUGHTER IS DIED AND YOUR LAUGHING?! YOU WERE HER FRIEND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR HER. YOU FRICKING USELESS RAT!"

I tried to get out of his grip but my hands were too weak against him. All I could do was laugh against my will and stay in his grip, trembling. I couldn't even explain my illness because of the fear I felt.

********

7 years past since May's death and now I'm 16 years old. No, the bullying didn't get any better and I don't laugh any less...I am currently in my one room apartment, In which I'm waiting for death. But it was taking a bit too long to come find me.

"This is stupid I'll just kill myself instead of waiting to starve to death" As I walked to the balcony I wondered. What was May thinking right before she committed suicide. I take off my shoes and loosen the tie around my neck. I stand at the edge of the balcony.

But right before I could jump...A letter comes from under my door with the letters S.C on it.