1 chapter one, if i could take us back

Alex Mercer pushed his blond hair out of his eyes, quickly glancing at Reggie, hoping that he'd agree.

"I already told you, I'm done with the band," Julie Molina grumbled, focusing her attention on her homework. She adjusted her glasses purposely ignoring Reggie's presence. "

"I know," he replied, fiddling with the sleeve of his jacket. Alex remembered how Julie's voice had cracked as she yelled at them in her school's gym. As did Luke and Reggie (who both had previous experience with disappointing others), Julie seemed so hurt. He took a deep breath, making sure not to lose his cool. "You know that song, 'Emily?'¨

Julie looked up, her brown eyes shining with confusion. She nodded slightly, closing her textbook as she did. "Yeah, why?"

"Can we at least show you who it's about?"

Alex's stomach twisted and he kept looking back at Julie, scared she might last out at them again. But the girl looked calm, and she kept muttering things underneath her breath. Her hands tugging on the sleeves of her white cardigan.

Alex really liked that sweater.

Reggie looked at each house, his expression sad, and Alex knows what he's thinking. Reggie Peters wanted a family like the ones he was seeing. It wasn't fair, Alex knew that. Reggie deserved a family like that.

"Are we almost there?" Julie asked, giving both boys a dirty look. Clearly, Julie Molina was still angry at them.

"We're here," he quickly ducked behind a hedge, before remembering he was dead. "Just hide behind one of those bushes so they don't see you."

Julie did as she was told, her curly hair covering his view of her face. Alex took a deep breath, not wanting to see his best friend's distressed face. He turned his attention to the house and saw Luke Patterson sitting on his parents' kitchen counter. Emily Patterson was holding a messily frosted chocolate cake (Luke's favourite). She had a sad smile on her face, and her husband lit a candle.

"Those are Luke's parents? They look so sad," Julie's tone is soft, and Alex could hear the strain in her voice as if she was forcing herself to say something to her former bandmates.

"I mean their only son is dead."

"At least they're eating cake..."

Reggie looked down. His expression was grim. "It's a birthday cake," he said bitterly. "For Luke."

"See it hurts so much more for Luke than us because when he died, he died on"- Alex hesitated, as if the words were taboo- "bad terms. They didn't want their seventeen-year-old son in a rock band. So he left."

Julie's eyes glassed over and she wiped an escaped tear. "I had no idea Luke was hurting this much." Alex wanted to hug her and tell her that he wished that was all Luke was suffering from.

Then Luke leaned forward and blew out the candle. He kissed his mother's head before taking a deep breath. He then disappeared, leaving no trace he was ever there.

"Where'd he go?" Julie asked, brown eyes wide with surprise. "I thought the song was about his mother?" Alex vaguely remembered Reggie telling Julie that on the way there.

"It's not," Alex said, his heart speeding up in his chest. He remembered what came next. "We've got one more place to show you."

Julie nodded slightly, and slowly tiptoed away from the Pattersons' house. Reggie pulled Alex over, and whispered in his ear: "Are we really gonna show Julie the place?"

Alex shrugged. "She wanted to know about the song and so-"

"Yeah, but she's always preaching about boundaries and we aren't respecting Luke's." Reggie had a point.

"I can hear everything you two are saying. Where exactly are we going?" Julie said loudly, earning odd looks from families walking by. She chuckled awkwardly and pointed to her wireless earbuds. "Sorry, talking to my bandmates." She shot Alex and Reggie glares. Reggie and Alex shrunk in their jackets.

When they arrived at their destination, Julie backed away. They were in front of a cemetery, and they spotted Luke sitting near a tombstone, talking happily. Julie's expression was sad and fearful, and Alex remembered that her mom had died.

"Come on," Reggie chided, and he went to grab her arm before it passed right through Julie and she shivered. "Please?"

"For Luke," Julie mumbled and hid behind a tombstone who died back in 1978. She pushed her hair behind her shoulder and the trio overheard what Luke was saying.

"-and now we're ghosts. It's kinda weird, but it's mainly pretty rad. And I wanted to visit you because it was kinda my fault you died, 'drea. And I wanted to say I really miss you, a lot," Luke's voice was so soft, and Alex could hear how painful saying each word sounded. Of course, it's painful, Alex mentally slapped himself. Andreas Ramírez was Luke's first relationship. It'd be painful if the first person you loved died.

"Whose Luke talking to?"

"Andreas Ramírez," Reggie replied, looking at Julie with a sad expression. "Luke's boyfriend. He died on Luke's last birthday before we died. It sucked ass, and Luke was never the same."

"You guys knew?" Julie asked, pushing a strand of brown behind her ear.

"Yes and no. Me, Alex, and Bobby knew. No one else knew, kinda a hidden relationship. The 90s really hated us," Reggie said, looking at Luke's one-sided conversation with the most pity Alex had ever seen. "The song is about Andreas and how Luke wished they could've told their families."

"Why isn't Andreas's family here?"

"Didn't have a lot of family. Just his grandma and grandpa and a little sister, though she was a baby."

"Was he a part of Sunset Curve?"

"No," Alex shook his head. "He was one of Luke's skating buddies. Just sort of clicked with the rest of us, so he was like an unofficial member of Sunset Curve."

Julie looked down, and the tears were coming faster down her face. "But then why use his mom's name in the song, if it was about Andreas?"

Alex sighed, but before he could answer Reggie answered before him. " 'Cause Emily is one of Luke's favourite names. That and anything to do with gems and flowers. It's also the reason he used all those 'she's' and 'her's' in the song. Just to make it anonymous. Let everyone assume he was talking about a girl."

"I feel so bad now," Julie looked up to meet Alex's eyes. "I teased him about the song."

"Don't feel bad, it wasn't your fault."

Luke appeared in front of the couch with a blank expression, before noticing the trio practising for their gig. His blank and almost bored expression quickly transformed into a smile. "What are you guys doing?"

"Practicing, slacker," Julie teased, leaning on her keyboard. "I changed my mind. I'm back in the band."

"Really, that's awesome," Luke said, grinning from ear to ear. He moved to grab his guitar before Julie added: "And also, happy birthday." His smile didn't seem so real anymore and he turned to his bandmates. He mouthed the words: "You told her?" Alex and Reggie shook their heads before looking at Julie who was already focused on her instrument.

Alex raised his drumsticks, and yelled: "One! Two! Three!"