1 No Longer 98.8% Monké
I've always been a fan of understatements.
Like calling a galaxy-ending hurricane a 'slight breeze', or the blast of a billion stars a 'minor heatwave'. So, when I say "I'm fucked," I want you to grasp the level of understatement we're dealing with here.
See, in a world where everybody and their grandma's pet's food's mother's poop's cousin have some type of power be it genetic, magical, psychic, spiritual, cosmic, or any of the endless Power Sources there are, I, Elexys, am the epitome of the extreme rarity, which must be an irony to all the worlds out there where such powers do not exist. Having no apparent power at all, not even the Top 3 most common; enhance strength or speed or the ability to fly...
I'm just plain human Elexys, who must be 98.8% monké.
It's not exactly an easy life when you're the only thirteen-year-old in the whole damn Universe who doesn't have a way to defend yourself from the frequent extradimensional attacks, alien invasions, or the various other dangers that lurk in our fuck-up world. Kids my age are supposed to have discovered their own abilities years ago before they were even born. But me? Nada. Zip. Zilch.
The orphanage has taken me to doctors of course, psychics as well, and even that old creepy half-eldritch witch who smelled like dead fish and rotten eggs...
Everyone's got the same diagnosis: Monké!
So after that, I just kind of gave up.
Anyway, today I woke up this fine morning with the same expectation as always: Nothing.
The summer sun's heat was already seeping through the room and its light cascade on the bedside window of the small orphanage room I shared with a roommate, promising another scorching day.
"I wish it would at least rain today..." I longingly muttered to myself as I stared out at the extremely scorching climate outside even though it was only six in the morning.
Just then, dark clouds suddenly covered the sky above and it started raining...
What a coincidence…
At least that's what I thought at the time.
I dragged myself to school after eating breakfast with the other kids, prolly be late again since I'm the only one who doesn't have a way to travel faster than my monké legs could get me.
I started power walking with the calming ambiance of the sound of rain hitting my raincoat, against the pavement, and spraying the leaves on the arrays of trees on each side of the street. But as I approached the intersection, I was peeved to see the crossing lights turning yellow...
"Don't you dare turn red." I threatened under my breath.
Unbelievably, it stayed flickering between green and yellow for an unusually long duration until I crossed. 'Maybe another coincidence?' I thought, even though the universe wasn't usually that kind to me. Still, nearing late I am, I perish the hypotheticals and went on my way.
As I entered the school, I was made to realize that the dreaded physics exam was today by the whispers of my classmates and I did not study for it one bit for I am the great grand ancestor of the Dao of Proscratination. Yeah, shit indeed. Then I wishingly thought "If only the fire alarm would ring," half-joking. But then, as if on cue...
The shrill sound of the fire alarm filled the air.
Now, I'm not one to believe in miracles — this shit is getting real weird.
The rest of the day went on like this: I'd think something, and then it would happen...
Like the time I was hungry as usual during lunch as the orphanage do not give me money to buy food in the cafeteria nor even pack me a single slice of bread much less a sandwich, and I found out an internet content creator in the cafeteria was conveniently doing a video and giving free food to poor orphans like me for clout. Or earlier when I wished for a distraction to fart during class, the power went off and startled everybody and their ability as sound loud enough to cover the leak of deadly air ensued.
I had a lot to think about after that, multiple consecutive coincidences at once? I think not.
When I got back to the orphanage and into the room I occupied, my mind was buzzing with the events of the day.
Is this it?
Is this my very own ability?
I decided to test it out. I mean, if this power is what I think it really is, well, let's just say that I'd either be having the time of my life or ...existential crisis.
I stood in front of the bedside widow then closed my eyes and pictured the most ridiculous thing I could think of. "A certain purple alien fictional villain from the 21st century, dancing on the neighbor's roof," I crystalized the thought then opened my eyes staring at the neighbor's roof across the street.
No purple alien…
…for that millisecond at least.
Suddenly I heard an old cultural dance music. I looked out again and nearly choked on my spit. There he was...
Fuckin' Th***s doing the cha-cha on our neighbor's roof.
I was shooketh, my mind racing with all the thousand possibilities of this power, all of its implications...
All those years of being the kid with no power of my own, and now this?
This feels like a joke...
"HahaHAHAHA~!" Thus I started laughing at the irony of it all, a crazy, manic laughter.
"Elexys… You fina gon' mad?" A deep gruff voice sounded behind me. It startled me to a halt and faced the guy.
"Oh, it's just you," I said, realizing it was just my hairy roommate whose name I know not of.
Maybe it's due to my lack of talky-talky skill or maybe it's because no one ever initiates a conversation with me, I've been quite the loner. Or more like an outcast. But I suppose at some point you just get used to it, especially if that was the case your whole life.
Ignoring the roommate who went to his bed, pulled something out of his drawer, and went out as quickly as he came, I turned back to the dancing Tha**s on the neighbor's roof. Old Mr. Balding Neighbour who was reading a newspaper now stands in his front yard staring at the purple wrinkly-ass 8 ft alien foolishly dancing on his roof, looking troubled as he scratches his balding head at the bizarre scene, maybe thinking it's another one of the orphanage kids prank.
Thinking that I couldn't just leave the thing there till it stops dancing and starts conquering this Universe as well or something, I crystallized a sequence of happenings and blinked…
And he was gone.
The dancing humanoid wrinkly grape was gone within a literal blink of an eye, much to the puzzled old man's surprise, confusion, then relief.
Well, the controls seem intuitive enough.
So intuitive in fact, that it's scary. It's like I just think what will happen even by the vaguest sense with the intent of it happening—and it shall be…
I didn't visually and vividly imagine the thing disappearing or where I wanted it to go, I just wanted it to disappear and disappear It did…
Well, I could work with this.
Giddy from this discovery, I jumped on top of my bed, but before I fell, I thought it to be softer than any pillow and much more comfortable than the thin blanket on top of plywood could allow...
And it did.
Otherwise, I would be hurting right now with a broken nose instead of feeling this soft and comfortable feeling on my face and body.
Well, how's that for a trust fall?
After I got up, I still found the bed to look the same …yet weirdly it felt different. Hmm... well, I did say that I want it to be soft and comfortable, not to change in appearance...
Huh, I suppose it's the type of ability that ignores common logic.
With that in mind, I'm feeling hungry so I thought ten cheeseburgers next…
Surely enough, the next instant, ten yellow wraps of cheeseburgers appeared on top of me while I lay on the bed just as I had envisioned.
Mind you, these cheeseburgers are not just any fast-food quality cheeseburgers, it's the 'as advertised' burgers that I made to look exactly like in the advertisement and taste even better…
Excitedly taking one as I feel its warmth which I made just at the perfect temperature for them to be eaten. Just what degree was that exactly I don't know but I have the feeling that it just is because I thought it to, so unwrapping it as the mouth-watering smell made me immediately take a big bite…
"Mmmm~ so tasty!" I couldn't help but exclaim as the taste wrapped around my tastebuds, holding my cheek while I chewed and continued to chew until before I even knew I'd finished eating it so I unwrapped another one and proceeded to wolf it down.
Just how is it so goddamn tasty?!
The premium juicy meat, the high-quality cheese, the sweet fresh tomatoes, caramelized onions, the sauce, and all the other ingredients…
I've never tasted something so delicious before!
Thus I continue to voraciously eat the cheeseburgers, even though each one is as tall as two inches and as wide as four. I greedily ate one within ten seconds. It was only when I reached my fourth burger did I realized that my poor stomach that never handled this much food before was about to explode and I couldn't take another bite.
"Haa…" Exhaling in great satisfaction while I held my bulging stomach, I thought a bottle of soda would be nice so I held my hand and appeared a freshly opened bottle of soda in between my fingers as I took a gulp and took another exhale of satisfaction.
I've never been so full before. Orphanage kids can only eat so much with the food being regulated evenly among the thousand of us. Well, not really evenly but more proportioned towards the kids who evidently have brighter futures, like a form of investment by the orphanage which just happens to work against me.
Sigh…
Life is tough for the powerless.
Especially in this world where power dictates just about everything…
But powerless I am no more.
From what I've seen so far, 'powerless' would be the last word anyone would ever describe me from now on.
Although I don't know exactly all the information, from the experiments I've conducted so far, I could only conclude that I now could—
Manipulate Reality.
