16 7. Troubled Dreams (pt. 1)

It was Monday morning when my brain started working properly again; the fog lifted all at once, in a horrible flash of clarity. Nicole had been grooming me, and as usual for the last couple days, I'd found myself nuzzling into her attentions, prompting her to step it up further and further as I got more and more comfortable and enjoyed the stimulation - but this time I found myself getting too worked-up, tensing, twitching, until I suddenly hit a tipping point I hadn't realized I had.

"Hhssstop!!!" I hissed, sitting bolt-upright and snapping my whole body 'round to face her in what was, by my standards, a remarkable display of flexibility and reflex reaction, batting a hand in her direction to block any further attempts to touch me. To my surprise, though, she lifted her arm away as casually as if she'd known ahead of time what I was going to do, and completely failed to suppress a snicker.

And just like that, I found my mind clearing; catharsis from lashing out at the unwelcome stimulation and indignance at being laughed at punched the first real holes in my mental haze, and the sudden realization of where I was, what we were doing, and how weird this would all look to an outside observer quickly obliterated the rest. Why in God's name had I been laying in my neighbor's lap while she gave me ear-scritches!? Why had I let her talk me into staying over for these last few nights? And what other bizarre things had we done?

Turning away in a huff, I cast my thoughts back over the weekend; but while my mind was free of the haze, my memories were disjointed and incomplete. I remembered going out on Thursday for some reason that had seemed important at the time, but which I couldn't for the life of me remember now. I remembered grilled fish; that'd made a strong impression, and I wanted more as soon as I thought of it. But I couldn't remember much else; and while I tried to regain my composure, my brain insistently offered up several different wild, hopefully baseless conjectures, all of them deeply embarrassing...

"Feeling betterrr niaow?" she asked, thankfully switching that train of thought off the line for me. Was I? Wait, had I not been? Had I been sick? I didn't remember feeling sick, but we'd had a conversation about it, hadn't we? I dimly recalled her calling me in at work. That'd definitely explain why I'd spent the last few days feeling so whacked-out that I barely remembered any of it, though it didn't do much to explain the ear-scritches. At least I seemed to be over it...

I nodded, still feeling mortified but trying not to show it, sitting ramrod-straight at the far end of Nicole's couch. "Uh, yeah. How, uh...how long did you tell them I'd be out forrr...?" Not that I was worried about my sick leave - I hardly ever caught anything worse than a moderate cold - but I was already weighing the merits of bonus PTO against thoughts of what the support queue would look like when I got back.

"Mrr, 'til the end of the week," she replied, whiskers twitching. "Figurrred you'd be done by then - or at least farrr enough along to make your own nyassessments."

That was an odd way to put it, I thought, but I didn't dwell on it; frankly, I was so weirded-out by the situation that I wanted to get out of here and back to my own place as soon as possible. But I didn't want to be rude, and she had apparently kept an eye on me through...whatever it was I'd been down with. "L-listen, uh, thanks," I said, feeling all kinds of awkward. "I, uh...I'm gonnya head on back to my place and get a showerrr in though." I did feel grungy, come think; had I even bathed in the last few days...?

She chuckled. "Wasn't gonnya say it, but you kinda need one. Nyew, uh, might feel the need for a nyap afterrr."

This also struck me as a mite peculiar, but I was already on my way out the door - at least 'til I realized that my keys were missing. "Oh, mya, herrre," Nicole said, fishing around in her pockets and handing them to me. I frowned in confusion; why did she have them? Had she needed something from my apartment?

Still feeling weird and unsettled, I went back to my place. The smells of the world around me were less overwhelming now, not because they'd gotten less intense, but because I'd more or less adjusted to it - which didn't stop me from feeling weird about that. It was oddly musty in here, too; I thought for a moment that someone else lived here, before I realized that was my scent I was picking up. Why did it seem strange to me...?

I threw the windows open - it was nice out, and I might as well air things out a bit - and went into the bathroom. I felt so discombobulated right now; was it merely due to "waking up" from the brain-fog in such a bizarre situation? No, I felt odd physically, too; not sick, but...off. On the rare occasions when I caught a really bad cold, I'd get this feeling like my head was just going to float away; this wasn't that, but it made me think of it.

I glanced in the mirror; I was a mess alright, except for my hair, which was a bit greasy but tidily-groomed thanks to Nicole. It still felt weird to think back on that, and I pushed it out of my mind for the time being. Despite being out of it for four days, I didn't need to shave; hell, I didn't even have a five-o'clock shadow. Strange, I thought, as I stripped off my rumpled, sweaty clothes and hopped in the shower.

It felt very good to get cleaned up after that long, but part of me felt a little weird about getting wet; I wasn't sure why. I was still feeling odd, too; it was like my brain couldn't exactly remember how my body was put together, or like it was a suit that didn't fit quite right. It was a bit disconcerting; I'd never experienced anything like this, that I could recall. Was I sick? Should I see a doctor? But I felt fine otherwise, and anyway it was hard to book an appointment lately, what with the pandemic...

When I'd finished, I got out of the shower and started towelling myself off; but I winced in surprise when I got to my chest. For some reason, my nipples were unusually tender - even a bit puffy, I thought, though it wasn't like I kept track - and I had to gently dab them dry instead of just rubbing the towel across like usual. Bizarre...maybe I should take advantage of my sick leave after all, just in case I wasn't quite over this...whatever-it-was.

Well, I could figure that out later, I thought, as I fought to get the tangles combed out of my hair. (Would this be easier if I had a brush?) For now, what I really wanted was a nap. I didn't usually sleep in the middle of the day, but for some reason I felt a powerful need for it. How had Nicole known - did I smell tired? Or was that purely coincidental? Something about the question nagged at me, but my brain was succumbing to a different and more familiar fuzziness...

With a yawn, I finished drying off and changed straight into my pajamas.° I thought about checking in on the company chat, but I was fading fast; not from exhaustion, I was just being overwhelmed with a pleasant, drowsy need to sleep. That nagging question remained at the back of my mind, but it couldn't overcome this feeling, and I'd barely climbed into bed and pulled the covers over myself before I was out like a light.

° (Okay, a fresh pair of underwear and a long undershirt. Sue me, I'm a bachelor.)

As pleasant as it'd been to fall asleep, I returned to consciousness with that kind of horrible jerk and falling sensation that you sometimes get just before nodding off.° The apartment was cold and dark, and I found myself surprisingly out-of-sorts. Familiar surroundings seemed somehow alien to me - they didn't smell right, or, well, they smelled like me, but me didn't smell right...? I rubbed my head against the pillow and buried my face in it; that was slightly closer to the mark, but I still felt uncharacteristically scared and alone...

° (Or maybe I'd already half-woken and experienced this when trying to go back to sleep. I yield to the experts on this point.)

Why was this? I'd been living on my own for years now, and I was fine by myself; why did it suddenly bother me? Was it because I was sick? ...maybe? ...with something I didn't understand? That must be it; plus, well, it was cold and dark in here. Had the power gone out? No, wait, I remembered - I'd forgotten to shut the windows before going to sleep, and it was still winter, no matter how nice the afternoons were by mid-February. I huddled under the blankets, trying to convince myself that I could stay warm enough to get back to sleep without having to get up and shut them-

Then I heard the door open; I felt a brief surge of panic before I heard Nicole call out: "Mya, Kit? You doin' nyalrrright? The window was open...God, it's frrreezing. Kit?"

"I'm okay," I replied groggily. "Just wanted to nyap, and I forrrgot to shut them..."

In a moment, she poked her head 'round the corner and caught sight of me lying in bed. I felt silly at how much relief this brought me; it wasn't like I actually needed her help to get up and close the damn windows, but it just felt so comforting to have another person here with me right now...

"Yeah, you're prrrobably gonnya be in 'n out of it for the next couple days at least," she said, padding into my bedroom without the slightest hesitation and yanking the sash down. I could smell her next to me; this was also weirdly reassuring. "Look, why don't you come back over and crrrash on my couch? It'll take a while for it to warrrm back up, 'n nyew need your rrrest."

I was inclined to turn her down - I'd already had one weird, unsettling stay at her place - but these strange feelings were making it hard. While I knew the apartment'd warm back up just fine, I didn't want to be here, in the cold and dark, maybe sick and definitely alone, in a familiar space that suddenly wasn't so familiar anymore. I felt silly - like I was a scared little child - but the thought of being with someone right now was immensely comforting. I groaned, heaved myself up out of bed, and immediately remembered that I wasn't wearing any pants.

She took it in stride, stepping out to go shut the other windows while I hastily threw on an old pair of sweatpants and stumbled into the bathroom to see if I'd missed anything else. I took a moment to sort-of straighten my hair, brushing it back behind my ears (they still felt funny, and something about the tips seemed odd) and brush my teeth (this felt a little funny too, as I ran my tongue over them,) then grabbed my keys and followed her back over to her place.

It wasn't completely dark yet, but it was well into twilight, and plenty nippy out. Nicole didn't seem bothered, but she was much better-insulated now; I wished I'd thrown on a jacket, and was glad I'd stopped to put on socks and shoes. We didn't have far to go, but by the time we were back inside I was really feeling it. I flopped onto the couch, startling the hell out of Rasputin, and huddled up in my thin undershirt, drawing my legs up against myself to try and trap the heat. I was used to the cold;° why was I so affected by this? God, I must be sick...

° (Having grown up in a much colder part of the country; I often smirk to myself when I see people bundled up for what I think of as crisp-fall-day weather.)

Nicole brought a blanket and draped it over me, then joined me on the couch, laying my head in her lap and scratching me gently behind the ears like she'd done before. I still felt weird about that, but I couldn't make myself pass it up right now, while I was cold, scared, and lonely, feeling entirely unlike myself; instead, I let myself nuzzle into her touch, embarrassed and comforted at the same time. She didn't say anything, just smiled, and presently I felt a rumbling from somewhere which I guessed must be her purring.