104 Chapter 103

Hu Yetao awoke with a choked gasp, eyes flying open and hands clenching around fistfuls of damp, white sheets.

"Hu Yetao." Oscar instantly appeared in his line of vision, leaning over him with concerned eyes.

Hu Yetao focussed on his Alpha as he exhaled unsteadily, drinking in the sight of him as he tried to calm his racing heart.

"Are you in pain?"

"No, I…" Hu Yetao shook his head, trying to shake the lingering images of the nightmare from his mind. "Bad dream."

Oscar carefully sat on the edge of the bed. "About what happened this morning?" he asked, forehead creased with worry.

"Yeah," Hu Yetao breathed out, his heart rate beginning to return to normal. "Except instead of my leg, he clawed my stomach, and…" he trailed off, knowing Oscar would be able to fill in the blanks.

Oscar immediately slipped onto the bed to lie alongside his mate and gently placed a hand on Hu Yetao's stomach. "The Healer said the baby was fine," he said quietly, gaze on the slope of Hu Yetao's pregnant belly beneath the sheet. "Just as you said."

Hu Yetao felt the knot in his stomach ease a little at the confirmation. "And my leg?" he asked, flexing his left leg a little. The pain was gone but the muscles felt stiff and bruised.

"Zheng healed it for you. Unfortunately, there's a bit of scarring."

Hu Yetao smiled a little at the anxious expression on his mate's face. "I don't care about that," he reassured, then reached out a hand to brush Oscar's disheveled fringe out of his eyes. His mate looked exhausted but also as though his entire body was practically vibrating with unease. "Zheng?" he questioned, continuing to comb his fingers through Oscar's soft hair, hoping to soothe the tension out of him.

"The Clan Healer," Oscar answered, eyes falling shut under his mate's touch. "You'll like her, she's quiet and listens well, but she's also very intelligent and extremely competent. I trust her."

"If you trust her to bring our little plonker into the world, then I do too."

Oscar slowly opened his eyes and looked at him with a tired smile.

"Are you all right?" Hu Yetao asked with a frown. "I mean, besides the obvious, did anything else happen? You seem really… tense."

Oscar's gaze skittered away from the sudden scrutiny. "I'm fine, just tired."

Hu Yetao narrowed his eyes. "No you're not," he replied shortly. "Now tell me what's going on. If it's not me or the baby, then something else is bothering you. Is your father all right?"

Oscar swallowed, still not quite meeting Hu Yetao's eyes. "Father is fine. It's… those…" He hesitated and Hu Yetao gently began carding his fingers through his mate's hair again. Oscar sighed and tried again. "While those vile men are still alive and in this house, I won't feel…. settled."

Hu Yetao frowned sympathetically, recognizing just how difficult the situation was for his Alpha. "I thought you were going to kill them," he admitted quietly.

"We couldn't," his mate replied tightly, expression darkening. "We have to bring them before the Board for proper sentencing first. Nundu is not allowed to pursue acts of revenge and execution without the Board's consent or knowledge, or else we drift into dangerous territory again. We don't want to associate ourselves with the Clans of the past who did whatever they pleased, including raping and killing whenever it struck their fancy."

"But you wanted to kill them," Hu Yetao construed, already knowing the answer.

Oscar nodded, his eyes flashing with something Hu Yetao had never seen in his Alpha's eyes before; something dark and dangerous.

"When will they be brought before the Board?"

"Tonight."

"Tonight?" Hu Yetao repeated in shock. "But it's Christmas day."

"The sooner the better," Oscar replied tersely.

Hu Yetao paused and looked at his mate; his pupils were slightly dilated and there was a distracted quality to his gaze, as though he couldn't quite concentrate properly. If Hu Yetao didn't know better, he'd think Oscar had been drinking. And his Alpha's body was so stiff and rigid, as though he was on the verge of lashing out or flying into a rage.

Hu Yetao slid his hand down out of Oscar's hair and cupped his warm cheek in one palm. "I love you," he said with quiet fervor.

Oscar buried his face in the side of Hu Yetao's neck and Hu Yetao immediately wrapped his arms around his Alpha. Oscar inhaled his scent and Hu Yetao hoped it would help to ease his anxiety.

"I hate feeling like this," Oscar murmured, lips moving against Hu Yetao's warm skin.

"Like what?"

"Like… like a part of me is no better than the Dark Lord."

Hu Yetao swiftly pressed a kiss to the top of Oscar's head. "Because you want to take the life of those men?" he asked, wanting his mate to talk about it, having learned the hard way that communication was vital in their relationship.

Oscar exhaled, his warm breath puffing across Hu Yetao's neck and raising goose-pimples in its wake. "I don't just want to end their lives; I want to make it…" He paused and swallowed hard. "Painful. I want to torture them, I want to ensure that they suffer."

Hu Yetao understood just how hard it would be for Oscar to have those conflicting feelings. His mate so wanted to be better than the boy he was in their early years at Hogwarts, and to get away from the Wang reputation for being advocates of Chong Li, and then to have those kinds of dark desires eating away at him… it would be so difficult to deal with, not to mention frightening.

Hu Yetao licked his lips, arms tightening around his mate. "But, you only want them to suffer because of what they did to me."

"Isn't it appallingly abhorrent to want someone to suffer through?" Oscar replied voice muffled. "Doesn't the fact that I want to rip them limb from limb disgust you?"

Hu Yetao sighed, distraught to hear such self-hatred and humiliation coming from his Alpha. "But it's not without a reason," he answered. "When you were on trial before the Board, I wanted whoever was responsible to be punished."

"But you didn't want to kill Meng with your bare hands," Oscar pointed out.

"No, but then I'm not Nundu."

"Exactly, you're not a monster," Oscar said, voice hard.

Hu Yetao held him still when Oscar began to pull away. "You're not a monster," he said censoriously. "When Tiang was killed, I wanted to hurt Ming so much that I cast the Cruciatus Curse at her. I wanted her to suffer as I was suffering."

Oscar pulled back a little to look into Hu Yetao's face, his eyes searching. "Did you want her to die?"

Hu Yetao nodded, remembering the feeling of rage and unfairness and hatred that had boiled up within him when Ming had run away, laughing and taunting his pain. "Yeah, I did."

"I don't think you would have done it though."

Hu Yetao sighed, shaking off the memory. "Perhaps not if I'd had time to think about it first but in the heat of the moment I… I don't know. It was much more straightforward with Chong Li."

"But you didn't utter the curse that took his life," Oscar pointed out.

"No, perhaps not, but that was my intent. It was him or me, and I always knew that at some point I would have to kill him. I not only accepted that fact but I wanted to do it."

Oscar slowly laid his head down on the pillow, staring unseeing across the room. "But you're not filled with this sadistic impulse which sometimes feels as though it's barely under your control."

"No, I'm not," Hu Yetao replied honestly. "But I'm not repulsed by it either."

Oscar's dubious gaze swung back towards him.

"I know this response in you has been triggered by a very specific situation, and that once it's been dealt with, you'll return to your normal self," Hu Yetao said with conviction.

Oscar frowned, almost appearing peeved. "But how can that not bother you?"

"Because when I accepted a mate who was a Nundu, I accepted everything about you. I may find it difficult to watch later today when-"

Oscar's eyes widened in horror and he quickly cut him off. "You're not coming to the Board meeting Taotao. I won't allow it."

Hu Yetao quickly quashed his irritation; he knew Oscar wasn't trying to usurp command over him, he was simply showing a concern for his Omega's wellbeing.

He took a deep breath. "I'm coming and you can't stop me," he said firmly.

Oscar quickly sat up. "I don't want you to see me like that."

Hu Yetao could read the fear so clearly in his mate's eyes that it pulled at his heart. He sat up with a wince, feeling a bit bruised in places other than his leg.

"Hu Yetao…"

"No, tell me what's going to happen. If you warn me then it won't be so shocking."

Oscar sighed and rubbed at tired eyes. "The men will be brought before the Board," he eventually began to explain, "who will then sentence them to death." He paused and looked up. "My father and I will then be invited to come forward and carry out the sentence. In whatever way, we deem appropriate."

"And if you don't do it, then the Board will do it? Or someone else?"

"Technically yes, but that has never happened. Hu Yetao…" Oscar sighed again, looking so very weary. "I have to do it."

"Or you'll forever feel like you didn't have closure?" Hu Yetao replied with a frown, wanting to understand.

"Yes, in a way," Oscar confirmed. "If I don't end their lives with my own hands, then I'll forever feel uneasy and… and weak like I couldn't do it. As though by not doing it myself, I am somehow condoning the horrors they inflicted on you. On my mate. I know it's primitive but it's an inborn instinct that I can't fight - none of us can. This is the only way that we can safely co-exist with the rest of the wizarding world. This way we get rid of the Nundu who cause real harm while the rest of us can release the beast inside that is screaming to get out when a member of our family is threatened or harmed."

Hu Yetao reached out for Oscar's hand when his voice broke and entwined their fingers.

"I want to be at the Board meeting with you," Hu Yetao persisted quietly. "I can't let you go through that alone. Nothing you do in that room will make me reject you or turn me away from you. We're in this together Oscar. I'm carrying your child for fuck's sake," he added, repeating Oscar's words back to him.

That prompted a tiny smile from his mate and Hu Yetao squeezed his hand.

"I've been through a war Oscar; I'm not some sheltered, innocent child."

Oscar distractedly reached out to stroke his fingers over Hu Yetao's Claiming Mark, as though it wasn't even a conscious movement. "I love you so much," he murmured. "I don't know what I would've done if something had happened to the two of you today."

Hu Yetao's responding smile was all tenderness and warmth, chest swelling at the reminder of their little growing family. "Whatever happens to you, happens to me too," he said. "We're a family."

Oscar met his fiercely affectionate gaze and finally nodded in acquiescence. "Yes, we are."