26 CONFESSION

[ELLIS' POV]

"D-Don't go." I cried.

His eyes widen and I think he already knows why I said that to him. He grabs my hand and we walk by the quiet balcony in the hotel, only the lamp is the light of it.

He lets go of my hand and I'm still crying even if Eros is already here with me. I can't stop crying knowing that he has to make a choice and we still didn't clear everything up between us.

"El, you heard what Eryx said?"

I slowly nodded and I can't look at him.

It's embarrassing that I always cry in front of him since we were kids.

"About that..."

"Ros, before you say anything, let me start first by saying, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not saying anything about what happened earlier at my place. I was supposed to tell you, everything but... I'm scared." Shit, I should stop crying.

"I'm scared that you might... hate me."

He moves closer to me and wipes my tears.

"El, please, don't cry."

"I-I can't stop, I'm sorry."

"About what happened earlier, I know you have your reasons. But the reason that you're thinking, is impossible. I would never hate you, El. I didn't even think of hating you."

I looked at him and his eyes are so sincere, it makes me want to cry more.

He sighs and scratch his head, "El, you're still the same when you cry, it makes me want to squish you, you know?"

"B-but..."

He smiles and held my cheeks, "I don't have many reasons to hate you, El. Yes, I'm surprised at first, knowing that you have a boyfriend and it upsets me that I didn't even know. So, I should hate myself, not you."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Ros. But don't worry, I already broke up with him-"

"Y-you broke up with him? Why? Don't tell me because you thought I would hate it."

He's surprised and lets go of my cheeks.

"N-no. I-I broke up with him because he cheated on me." I said to him.

Which is the truth too. But the main reason is...

"WHAT? He did that to you? What kind of person is he? I mean, he cheated on you? You're already cute, have a stable job, and full of cuteness, so why?"

I didn't expect that he would react like this.

"Ros, the main reason why I broke up with him is that..."

Badum dum badum dum.

My heart is beating fast.

I can't control it anymore.

"Because I'm in love with you."

I SAID IT!

He looks at me and his eyes... I've noticed that it become watery. Like he's about to cry.

"E-El. I-I'm sorry."

"Why are you saying you're sorry?"

"Because I-I can't accept that."

"W-what do you mean?" Oh no.

Not this.

"We're brothers. You can't have this feeling-"

That's it. That's his reason. I knew it.

I know that it's his reason all this time.

It's his barrier!

"Ros, I know you feel the same way. I know you love me too." I said to him.

"El, stop this."

"No! I can't! Ros, you have feelings for me too! We both have the same feelings! Admit it!"

"I told you to stop." He says.

"Brothers can't kiss! A brother should not do that! We're not acting like brothers, Ros. You give me motives! So, it means something, right? And we're not even related, so what's wrong? What's holding you back? Do you have a girlfriend or... Or a big boyfriend? Are you seeing someone?"

He didn't say anything.

He's standing still, unable to move.

"I can't lose you, El. I can't let you get hurt."

What is he talking about? Lose me? Hurt?

He moves closer to me and hugs me.

"I'm also like you. I've realized that when I first thought about you. Every day, I think about you, El. Every day, I want to see you, hold you, cherish you, and protect you. I'm still keeping our promise, okay?"

He's saying that he's gay too.

Fuck. I'm crying again.

"Ros, as I'm looking at you earlier at the stage, it made me realized something... something that I've never realized before..."

"That I've never really liked anyone before. That even my ex-boyfriend that I just broke up with, I've never liked him from the start. I only liked you, Ros. Specifically, only you. That all this time, I don't want any man, except you."

He lets go of the hug.

He held my face and smiles, "Why are you still crying? I'm not going anywhere, El, don't cry. I'm staying here with you, okay?"

My eyes widen and I gave him a big hug again.

"Promise me, Ros. Promise me that you will never leave me again."

I can feel his lips curved, "I promise."

•••

[EROS' POV]

At first, seeing Ellis crying behind the tall vase, makes me worry, and when I already know why I immediately grabbed him and took him somewhere.

With Ellis, I already calmed down in whatever's our issue earlier about him having a boyfriend, it made me upset, I admit that.

It makes me jealous, yes, I admit that also.

But, when I realized that whatever happens, I can't make him mine. I'm still his brother, but making him happy, contented and satisfied, it will be his boyfriend.

When he admitted that he's in love with me, I almost cry in relief because I want that to hear all these years.

I want to hear that from him, making my face all red and butterflies are all over my stomach.

I want to explode and shout to everyone that finally, Ellis already confessed his feelings to me. But... at the same time, it's wrong.

When I told him the reason, is because we are brothers, I know that it's not that reason that I want to say but...

There's a big barrier between us that I cannot say, since high school, I know that when I finished college, I would go through these problems but I have to control them and not let my feelings out.

But, I want to hug him and comfort him, because that's the least I can do for him right now.

Then I said those words to him because I want to know that he too, is the only one that I love.

Then, I've realized that, even before, I'm not into men like any other guys out there, but I only loved him, only Ellis. I don't hate girls, I don't hate or love boys. I only loved only one.

That's Ellis.

"Griffin, could you take us to my place instead?"

"Yes, Mr. Beckett."

Ellis is laying on my shoulder for quite a while now since we left for the party.

He insisted that I drive him to his place but I changed my mind.

After that confession, I'm in relief to know that he already broke up with that old man.

For me, he looks old.

Laughing deep inside.

But anyway, I'm relieved in some ways but... I'm just scared that he's still hoping for us to be together, romantically.

I should have explained it more to him.

•••

As soon as arrived in the penthouse, I woke him up and he's surprised that we're at my place.

"You could stay tonight," I said to him.

His eyes lit up like a child and he clings into my arm, "Really? O-okay."

We went to the elevator with Griffin and he's still clinging into my arms.

I still remember those times when he always clings to me when we were young because he doesn't want to get lost. Also, when he wants to stay by my side.

He's acting like a child right now and I can't help it but HE LOOKS SO CUTE.

When the elevator reached my penthouse, Griffins opens the door and went inside.

"Um, El..." I say to him and he noticed that his arms are still in my arms.

"S-sorry. I should sit." He said and he sat on the sofa.

"You can change first," I said to him.

"I don't have anything else to wear."

"My clothes," I said to him and his cheeks became red. Is he shy?

And I thought about something else which made me realized that it's awkward.

Sometimes, wearing someone's clothes after sex or to look cute in front of someone. That's the meaning behind our awkwardness, I THINK.

"I-is it okay?" He asked and I just nodded.

"Okay." He said and went to my room.

Griffin coughs, "Did you guys talk already?"

I nod.

"So, what's the update?" He asked and he went to the kitchen.

"Want some beer?"

"No, just water."

He gave me bottled water.

"We just need to clarify some things tonight."

"So, that's the reason you want him to stay?"

I just want to stay with him tonight. But we can talk about it more. About us.

"Maybe," I answered.

He drinks his beer and sat beside me.

I opened the bottled water.

"You need to let him understand, Eros. It may become difficult if he doesn't. If the Chairman finds out-"

"Shh," I said to him as soon as I heard the door from my room open.

I drink the water, I need this since my throat is becoming dry from being quiet throughout the car ride.

"It's kind of large but it's comfy for me."

When I looked at him, I spit out the water from my mouth. FUCK. Is that my clothes?

My sweater and my shorts were put all together and that's the result of him.

I gulped and I can feel my cheeks are turning red and I can't stop staring at him.

He looks so adorable.

Even Griffin is staring at him, I covered his eyes and I should be the only one who could stare at him like this.

"Y-you looked cute," I whisper as I looked away.

"R-really? T-thank you." He shyly looks away.

"I think I need to go," Griffin said and he left the beer can on the table.

"See you tomorrow, Mr. Beckett, congratulations on the successful party tonight." He said and turns to look at Ellis, "Ellis, please let Eros sleep comfortably tonight." And he went out.

Ellis waves at him to say goodbye.

"Um..." Now, we're alone.

What should I say? What can we do?

"Ros?"

I looked at him, he's standing shyly in front of me and asked, "What do you want to do?"

•••